Change

Change is the only constant in the world. From birth, our lives are embedded with change and the world around us is defined by change. Sometimes we may think that there’s nothing going on and yet there’s a whole lot of motion going on behind the scenes. There’s drastic, sudden change and there is that constant, silent transformation that occurs at every second of everyday within and outside of us.

Seasons chachange-forevernge, the weather changes at least a few times in a day, times change, perceptions and paradigms change. As you grow from infancy, your body is constantly changing, as you evolve into adulthood everything you have known about yourself has probably changed. With this consistent churn of circumstances, why then do we resist change or get shocked by it? When you were younger you welcomed every bit of change, in fact you were excited by it. Getting excited to be allowed to feed yourself, starting a new a school so you can make you new friends, moving to a new town, staying by yourself, etc.

I guess at a younger age we are excited about change as we were intrigued by the possibilities of the unknown and had so many dreams we want to move closer to. But as we get older, stability becomes the key objective in our lives and at most find change uncomfortable unless we initiate it. Unfortunately as inconvenient as change may be, we have to deal it, in fact it is absolutely necessary for our survival. It is much easier to adapt to big abrupt changes, trying as they may be, at least we are readily alerted to the changes at hand. It may be a life changing phone call, major life event, an accident or even a confrontation.

The most difficult changes to adapt to are the silent, gradual ones within us and in our value systems. Let me make an example; as you become a parent, your definition of joy changes completely from an epic night out with your favourite buddies to a toothless smile from your now most favourite individual on planet earth. Yes you may have many future nights out with your mates (parents do, and must have lives), however little miss toothless has redefined the concept of joy in your being altogether.

Likewise with friends, throughout your lifetime you find you relate better with certain people at certain seasons in your life. Sometimes you find the ones that you really love the most no longer ‘get’ you the way they used to. I have learnt to accept that it is okay for those friendships to end, no one can be everything to you all the time. Another important thing is that you need to spend time with people who are where you want to be. If you are the most successful person in your circle, then you are misplaced. Find a new challenge. Your mind requires new information in order to facilitate your growth process.

You cannot get to your new best self by clinging to who you were yesterday. Survival and growth require us to adapt and move with the program. We all need to learn the art of re-inventing ourselves when the situation requires because if we don’t transform ourselves, life will continue to change without us. I personally came across a certain level of stagnation in my life until I eventually realized that the university habit of being a night owl was not serving me well in my current aspirations. Yes I was never a “morning person” but I had to force myself to start my day’s early so I can stay winning which involved setting alarm times to go to bed, etc. Not easy, but doable with the right intent.

We are creatures of habit; every behavior we exhibit is learned and we can unlearn and relearn if we want to. We just need to decide. Therefore sustainable change is indeed a decision.  Recognize what is limiting you within yourself and make a decision to change it, one day at a time, one experience at a time. It may not come instantly, but the universe will honor your intentions. Eventually you will see you desires of change becoming your new reality, you know what they say “the more things change, the more they remain the same”. Therefore,  gradual change becomes embedded in your character over time, it becomes who you are. You may not notice it, but as long as your commitment to your transformation is genuine, you will see it.

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2 Responses to “Change”

  1. sizwe says:

    you are 100% correct change is needed as a human being . but the whole becomes very tricky, if you are in a relationship .
    as much as I change my biggest concern is would my spouse change with me or not ?
    and will my spouse like/love the changed person I`ve become?

    • inneradmin says:

      Hi Sizwe thanks for reading :). Transformation is a personal journey and its something that you do to realise your best self. A companion should ideally encourage or be informing part of the change. Coz we become more like the people we spend most of our time with, but we must be careful not to confuse abrupt decisions with transformation. Communicate your new ways of thinking and see if they make sense to your significant other, who (if wisely chosen) will provide good perspective to your desire to change.

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