Archive for the ‘Life’ Category

10 things I wish I knew when I was 20

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This is an actual blackboard hanging in my house. I have written these 5 points over a period of 24 months, one point at a time as I unwrapped the lessons. I must admit they came during the most difficult trials in my life and maybe that’s why the lessons have stuck so well. I always look forward to my birthday, but also dreaded getting old. I no longer resent old age though, as I have since realized that the older I grow, the more I fall in love with the woman I am becoming. A lot of people have not made it this far, which means I have survived everything life has thrown at me up to this point. Below are the 10 things I would tell to my 20-year old self, being a day away from 30, I needed to reflect and take stock at what life has offered me.

  1. Thank God

I have learnt that in my life I have a lot to be thankful for. No matter how dire my situation may have been, I can bet my life that someone is going through far worse and his or her situation is not about change anytime soon. Counting your blessings one by one each day, brings a sense of hope in one’s soul. Gratitude invites more blessing and being alive is one.

  1. The time is NOW

The best time to start or stop doing something is NOW! The present is the best opportunity to live, to grow and be true to your convictions. Procrastinating on progressive decisions is such an injustice to your destiny. Time and chance may not present themselves as they have today. Seize the moment, the opportunity may never come again.

  1. Honor your decisions

Had I stuck to my resolutions when I made them, I would be living my best life right now. But again, putting things off for another day and basking in the comfort of dysfunction is counter-revolutionary to your growth. So you have figured out that a particular activity/relationship is holding you back. Off all the things that are detrimental to you life, you have narrowed it down to that is “one” thing and you are making a decision to change it. Please stick to that resolution daily. It will not be easy, you will forget sometimes, but as soon as you remember your decision, promise yourself once more. This way you learn to trust yourself and build up your self-esteem.

  1. Speak your Truth

A healthy self-esteem is also built up through the ability of speaking your truth. For the longest time I have been unable to express my true feelings with the fear that it might offend the next person or they might appreciate me less. The result was that I would overly commit myself and let the very same people down, including myself. Speaking your truth is also necessary when you speak to yourself and most importantly to God through your prayers. The Lord delights when we are vulnerable and honest to him, because he already knows whats in our hearts anyway. Communication is the most important ingredient in any relationship, be it professional or personal. Being honest with yourself yields the best reward of all. There is nothing more sad than seeing someone believing their own lies. Stay true!

  1. Learn to say No without explaining yourself

If you can’t do something, you can’t, end of story. You don’t need to be rude or apologetic about it. I am one of those people that wanted to please all and sundry and felt the need to explain my decisions all the time, as though people invested some of the years of their lives in mine and I owe them a time account. It is good to be polite and commit wherever possible, but it should never be at your detriment. I have since discovered that whatever I tried to explain to others, I was trying to justify in my own mind. Which means I’m not sure about the choice that I just made. Those who care about you will understand when you cannot show up because they know of the many times you did. You character is not defined by the ability to please, but the level of integrity you abide by.

  1. The world owes you nothing

Not needing to explain myself helped me learn that I actually do not owe anyone anything. Everything I do or say needs to be meaningful and come from my heart. Anything you do with ingenuity is an inconvenience to yourself and a nuisance to others. Likewise nobody owes you loyalty, love, attention or politeness. All these things are done because people want to, and you need to appreciate every single good deed, because you are not entitled to it. Even God himself owes you absolutely nothing, all you have is by Grace. Receive it as such. Life does not owe you success no matter how good you have been. Yes you reap what you sow, but you don’t do good as an investment, you do it because you want to and only then will it come back to you. Expectations lead to disappointments, have none (or as little as possible).

  1. Low self-esteem is not humility

There’s nothing as dis empowering as fake-humility. I have done that a great deal in my life. Treating myself as an option just to appear humble to people who don’t even need my sacrifice. I mistook thinking lowly of myself as the ultimate expression of humility and little did I know that was exactly how the world would perceive me. Humility continues to be the greatest virtue I aspire to, but I bring self-love along. Pride is not attractive on any basis, in fact its like poisoning your own soul and living in delusion. We are on earth and are all equal, lets live there. Give to yourself the love that you would extend to others, you are just as important.

  1. You are not ready for marriage

Marriage is no joke guys! It takes your whole soul and a bit to make it work with your beloved. You need to constantly work on yourself to be better for your soul mate and for the partnership to work. If I knew this, my twenties would have been the most liberating time of my life. I spent a decent part of them stressing about marriage and when it was finally gonna rain on precious me. It is only now do I realize that I have had quiet a lot to work on personally before I could even fathom of someone else entrusting me with their heart and their dreams.

  1. Being “you” is your Super-power

No one can be Noluthando the way I can be. Not now, not ever. That is my super-power. Only I can execute my destiny, tell my story and color the world in a manner that me can do. Everywhere you go, know that you have decorated the place with your rival and you matter. No one can dispute how you are doing you, because frankly only you know how to.

  1. Jesus saves

Not my moral behavior, sweet words, pretty face or lengthy prayers can save my soul, only Jesus can. I gave my life to the Lord in my second year of university and I continue to surrender it daily. Many Christians and non-christians fall into the trap of being their own saviors and some even say that they need to change their lives before they come to God. I have also tried to clean up own messes, only to create bigger ones. The acknowledgement that there is a power higher than you that can help you rise higher is the beginning of wisdom. If you were your own god, you would be running this world. Gradually understanding and absorbing that Jesus is my savior, has helped absolve myself off condemnation, forgive my own errors and renewed my hope for the future.

Overall, I have learnt to accept that I am a work in progress and will continue to be that for the rest of my life. I just need to remain committed to my own development. At the end of it, things will be okay, they always turn out that way. No situation is permanent, not even your weaknesses or deepest fears. Morning always comes, and when it does, take the lessons into your noonday.

“ You have to relentlessly participate in the manifestation of your own blessings”

 

Highest Honor

Everything natural on this earth is alive, if fact earth itself is considered to have a soul, called Gaia and she is female in her form. The soil germinates seeds and grows food for us. The plant itself is alive as it grows, water brings life, in fact without it; there is no life, just like air. All the natural elements (earth, water, fire, air) are a culmination of life and all living beings are an embodiment of these elements. You need air to breathe, water to drink, food to eat and sun for warmth. This applies to all created animals, they are a combinations of all elements of life. We are therefore no different from any living thing on this earth, but we are somewhat superior, one might even say we are at the top of the food chain. Have you ever wondered though how was it decided that one would manifest as a plant, an animal or human being? If lives of animals were not sacred, they would not be afraid of dying. While, we’re at it, who decides which animal spirit will be a rat and another a lion?

Well, according to Vedic literature there is actually a science that determines who is born in what form. They believe that existence starts in the most basic form and evolves to the highest level, which is spiritual enlightenment. Where one is no longer subject to the limitations of the elements, nor gets to be born and die again, but live in the purest form reminiscent with the source of their soul. According to them, existence therefore, begins on the earth as rock and with is the densest vibration and gradually over time, that manifestation changes form into something else. Think of how mountains go through erosion and what was hard rock now becomes soil. The soil can germinate life and eventually graduate into manifesting as a plant. The next stage existence is that of animals, which is a more enhanced experience of the elements and less dense dimension. Animals can protect themselves; reproduce with intention and most importantly are driven by their instincts to ensure survival. I would assume it starts off small and climbs the ranks, over time to being an elephant, maybe.

The next, not final, stage of existence is that of being born as a human. In this dimension of existence it is considered the highest honor compared to all living things on this earth. We are not driven by instincts, but we have our intelligence, will power and insight to spiritual enlightenment. Art is the highest expression of human intelligence and all of us have that gift, whether creating or enjoying it. Most importantly we all have eternity engraved in our souls. All of us, at some point wonder, where exactly do we all come from and where we are going, ideally none of us want to die or age for that matter. Ancient Eastern texts (Vedic) believe being born human grants you the opportunity to change the destiny of your soul by how you exhibit your human experience. We cannot merely exist to eat, reproduce, protect and die; this would make us no different to animals. Likewise spending all our days wanting to have more than others, when in actual fact the value of lives is exactly the same. “All people spend their lives scratching for food, but they never seem to have enough. Enjoy what you have rather than desiring what you don’t have. Just dreaming about nice things is meaningless – like chasing the wind” (Ecclesiastes 7).

 “Once we take human birth, our destiny is shaped by karma. Karma are actions pertaining to the development of the material body and such acts sentence us to future births in the material world where we reap what we sow. If we act according to good moral code we produce good karma, likewise if we engross ourselves in fleshly desires we create bad karma. If we don’t learn good lessons we are sent back to try again, with a better starting point if we were good, or worse off if we were vile. The material world reforms us, teaching us through reward and punishment to acknowledge God’s supreme position. – (Swami Prabhupada, Veda, Secrets of the East).

I may not fully understand the evolution of the soul as described above. Whether our souls evolve over time, arrive as is or travel from one dimension to the next, is not important. What is important to is that we realize the strength of what we possess within our souls. The bible says God created us in His image. He spoke things into existence and we possess the same power. We have dominion over earth and all things created, therefore, it is expected of us to experience life on a higher level. It should be above the animalistic instincts. Our vibrations can change the course of humanity and digging deeper within ourselves for the eternity we yearn for, will lead us to attain our individual pursuit of excellence. Remember, a plant only graduates to the next level by blossoming to the best of its ability and bear the maximum amount of fruit it possibly can. It has mastered the dimension of being a plant, and it needs a new challenge, and we are no different. We need to live with the desire to rise up above our current form of existence, master it and move on to the highest and purest form of existence where we are not tied down by cumbersome bodies. Consider the Lotus flower; its seed sprouts in mud and it rises up from the murky mud to flourish on water effortlessly basking in the sunrays. The murkier the mud; the brighter the flower becomes. Some people rise up from the lowest points of life to become noble citizens, which is a reflection of how quickly they have absorbed life’s lessons. We too can learn the lessons presented in our mud, and the most important one is the humility of acknowledging that there is a God and we are not He. 

We cannot control the circumstances of our lives and existence and perhaps may never know all the mysteries of life. But we can live each day with the gratitude of being alive and being who we are. Many yearn for the gift. We must appreciate our souls for being different and gifted, in this way we honor He who created us. For we no matter how difficult things can get, we are bestowed with the highest honor that exists in this life and we need to be mindful of it. Finding our passion, doing the best with our abilities and sharing our light with others, adds its own flavour to this earth. Let us not despise our lives over the meaningless comforts of modern life, whether we live in abundance or lack thereof. It should never overshadow the sound of our souls that should be listened to.

If you are young and healthy, you are the wealthiest being on this planet. Sometimes it may take lying in a hospital bed or an old age home to realize the value of your youth. Use it wisely and: Give thanks for it. Everyday!

Don’t let the excitement of youth cause you to forget you Creator. Honor him in your youth before you grow old and say –‘Life is not pleasant anymore’. Remember Him before the door to life’s opportunities is closed and the sound of work fades. Yes, remember your Creator now while you are young before the silver cord of life snaps and the bowl is broken. For then the dust will return to the earth, and the spirit will return to God who gave it. – Ecclesiastes 12

 

…as you say!

Be very careful when a naked person offers you a shirt – African proverb

First of all, how can someone give you something they don’t have themselves and secondly, why are they not wearing that shirt? Clearly, if it’s good for you, it will surely be good for them because you are both naked. It’s like food, if someone doesn’t want to eat something, but insists that you eat it; you get suspicious or eat it with discontentment in your heart knowing that this poor person is also hungry yet they are giving you all their food. The intention may be good, but the reception may not be entirely perceived in the same manner, it usually comes with a bit of an after taste if accepted at all. Parents may be an exception to the material application of this principle but not in its entirety.

A parent will go hungry for their children any day, however as the children grow older, they may not be as accepting of this sacrifice and will insist on sharing. The predicament comes when the parent lays out rules that they do not follow themselves. Most parents would say “do as I say and not as I do”. You use bad language, gossip, are untidy, stingy, lazy, etc. while preaching the opposite to your children. It’s not rocket science that your children will probably turn out like you. You cannot teach them something you don’t know yourself.

Another great example is a relationship. You must really be afraid of someone who doesn’t love themselves and yet claim they love you. This person overworks themselves, they don’t deal with hurt in their lives, tolerates disrespect from all and sundry, puts absolutely everyone and everything ahead of him/herself. They basically do not take care of their bodies and well being, either by living a risky lifestyle or engaged in other self destructive behavior. Now tell me how can this person give you love, which is; patient, kind, gentle, non-envious, etc.? Because of the inadequacy within themselves, their idea of love is distorted from the onset and what they consider love may be a very dysfunctional realty. Unfortunately you end up trying as hard as you can to “understand” this persons’ distorted definition of love and that is where abuse begins.

Unless someone does something themselves, it is not easy for anyone to follow their example. It is in our nature to judge others by their actions and only judge ourselves by our intentions. The world is not going to change by what you are planning to do, it is only what you actually do, and well so, that will change it. A manager, who knows absolutely nothing about the role and is not even trying to change, cannot expect you to shoot the lights out. That not only leaves you disgruntled, but you lose respect very quickly for that person. They don’t have the ‘work-hard’ shirt themselves, but they expect you to wear it, cleaned-and-ironed everyday. At times, the manager does manage to make you to comply, but, this usually comes through some intimidating re-enforcements. This is damaging in the long run, more to themselves than to you, interestingly.

Most importantly, we need to apply this principle on a very personal level and allow it to shape our characters. Before you expect something out of other people, please make sure you posses it yourself. No matter how many lies you tell yourself to believe that you are exhibiting certain noble traits, people can see right through your nakedness. You can fool some people sometimes, but not everyone all the time. It’s not good enough to think and speak your truth; you need to live it as well. Wearing the shirt is no easy task, I know, it takes intention, discipline and perseverance. We are not all born with brilliant traits, in fact we have had to learn these over time and the learning never stops. To build credibility, you need to do what is required of you, from yourself and towards those you have committed to deliver to. Doing as you have promised, when you promised it – consistently, will make others respect and consider you honorable. I read in one book that: Holiness is when what you think, what you do and what you say are in perfect harmony.

Self-leadership is key to you getting to the next level in life. How you lead yourself will determine how others perceive and treat you. It is absolutely necessary for us to be able to be great leaders; leaders of our homes, companies, children, teams, and the world.

Proverbs 18 vs 3

“The integrity of the upright guides them, but the unfaithful are destroyed by their duplicity”

Change

Change is the only constant in the world. From birth, our lives are embedded with change and the world around us is defined by change. Sometimes we may think that there’s nothing going on and yet there’s a whole lot of motion going on behind the scenes. There’s drastic, sudden change and there is that constant, silent transformation that occurs at every second of everyday within and outside of us.

Seasons chachange-forevernge, the weather changes at least a few times in a day, times change, perceptions and paradigms change. As you grow from infancy, your body is constantly changing, as you evolve into adulthood everything you have known about yourself has probably changed. With this consistent churn of circumstances, why then do we resist change or get shocked by it? When you were younger you welcomed every bit of change, in fact you were excited by it. Getting excited to be allowed to feed yourself, starting a new a school so you can make you new friends, moving to a new town, staying by yourself, etc.

I guess at a younger age we are excited about change as we were intrigued by the possibilities of the unknown and had so many dreams we want to move closer to. But as we get older, stability becomes the key objective in our lives and at most find change uncomfortable unless we initiate it. Unfortunately as inconvenient as change may be, we have to deal it, in fact it is absolutely necessary for our survival. It is much easier to adapt to big abrupt changes, trying as they may be, at least we are readily alerted to the changes at hand. It may be a life changing phone call, major life event, an accident or even a confrontation.

The most difficult changes to adapt to are the silent, gradual ones within us and in our value systems. Let me make an example; as you become a parent, your definition of joy changes completely from an epic night out with your favourite buddies to a toothless smile from your now most favourite individual on planet earth. Yes you may have many future nights out with your mates (parents do, and must have lives), however little miss toothless has redefined the concept of joy in your being altogether.

Likewise with friends, throughout your lifetime you find you relate better with certain people at certain seasons in your life. Sometimes you find the ones that you really love the most no longer ‘get’ you the way they used to. I have learnt to accept that it is okay for those friendships to end, no one can be everything to you all the time. Another important thing is that you need to spend time with people who are where you want to be. If you are the most successful person in your circle, then you are misplaced. Find a new challenge. Your mind requires new information in order to facilitate your growth process.

You cannot get to your new best self by clinging to who you were yesterday. Survival and growth require us to adapt and move with the program. We all need to learn the art of re-inventing ourselves when the situation requires because if we don’t transform ourselves, life will continue to change without us. I personally came across a certain level of stagnation in my life until I eventually realized that the university habit of being a night owl was not serving me well in my current aspirations. Yes I was never a “morning person” but I had to force myself to start my day’s early so I can stay winning which involved setting alarm times to go to bed, etc. Not easy, but doable with the right intent.

We are creatures of habit; every behavior we exhibit is learned and we can unlearn and relearn if we want to. We just need to decide. Therefore sustainable change is indeed a decision.  Recognize what is limiting you within yourself and make a decision to change it, one day at a time, one experience at a time. It may not come instantly, but the universe will honor your intentions. Eventually you will see you desires of change becoming your new reality, you know what they say “the more things change, the more they remain the same”. Therefore,  gradual change becomes embedded in your character over time, it becomes who you are. You may not notice it, but as long as your commitment to your transformation is genuine, you will see it.

Unto Others

I recently went on a weeklong hiking expedition, I spent 5 days walking the mountains and camping by the seashore. Like with any continuous interaction with nature one anticipates clarity of vision and a refreshing of some sort, likewise those were my expectations before I left. I had written down the things I was hoping God to talk to me about, and hopefully comeback with a clear vision of what I’m supposed to do next to fulfil my purpose and take my hustle to the next level.

To my dismay, I just kept on having deep reminiscent thoughts of the difficult moments from my childhood. On some days I would even dream of these people who treated me badly, this bothered me for a bit, I mean the days were passing by and I hadn’t had the epiphany I needed from this trip. Until on the 3rd day I had a discussion with a fellow hiking mate, whom I had met there, that it really dawned me what exactly my subconscious spirit was bringing forth with all these throwbacks.

My new acquaintance told me about her difficult child hood and how she worked her hands to the bone to be justified. Today she looks back at those people who treated her badly and feels pity for them. She had rose above all their negativity and made something of herself, compared to how all her oppressors had fallen out of glory. It was then that I connected the dots as to why I have been feeling the way I do. When I compare notes with her, I realized how miserable the people who had burdened my childhood are today. Even their children are a sad, sad, story, like my heart bleeds for them. In the yester years they would not have imagined their lives would be where they are, to them, they will always remain above me as circumstances informed at that time. I started thanking God for helping me though those storms and bringing me to a place of independence, and peace. Next, I asked myself what was the purpose of this whole exercise because surely I had to learn something from it, otherwise it will not stop bothering me. I came to this conclusion:

Whenever you are in a position of power, never use it to intentionally oppress someone you consider to be at your mercy.

You are not only breaking their spirit, but you are also heaping a load of hot coal on your own shoulders. Burdening you with negative karma, which you will surely have to recompense for at some point in the future.

One would think that my friend and me are very special in that we were eventually vindicated from our oppressors. However, every human being is living with the same benefit. Take a moment and think back of people or a person who intentionally made your life a misery at some point in your journey. It may be a schoolteacher, stepparent, romantic partner, sales person, neighbor, friend, sibling, colleague…whoever. When you were trying your best to be kind and polite towards them, they just kept on throwing fireballs you, with no justification. Now, reflect at the life/status they had back then and where they are now, it may be in comparison to you or where they should be based on the level they were.

Chances are, they are not where they would ideally should be, or worse off than they were. Now this is not to encourage us to sit around and wait for the demise of those who oppress us, once we do that, we absolve them and bring misery to ourselves (Galatians 5v26 msg: “that means we will not compare ourselves with each other as if one of us was better and another worse. We have far more interesting things to do with our lives. Each of us is an original”). More so because we also oppress others at times without even noticing it, while intentionally using our power to benefit us. Here are a few examples:

  1. Neglect/ignorance – Delaying to deliver on a promise at an agreed time because honestly, you are too busy or pre-occupied puts the person waiting on your promise at a disadvantage. The delay may seem short on your side but it feels like forever to them.
  2. Careless talk – The moment you open your mouth to give a report about someone else, their entire reputation at that moment is dependent on your words. Don’t oppress them; if there’s nothing positive to share, pass the buck.
  3. Indecision – So you know you will not date this guy or have any future with him whatsoever, but you continue leading them on so you get adorned with attention. This person has given you power over their heart and you are playing dice with it. Okay, maybe you might consider them, but you’re honestly not sure right now; that’s okay, but make sure they know it…otherwise you are taking advantage.

These are just a few examples of how we can oppress others without even thinking about it. I will not mention those who out rightly abuse their power iand intentionally project misery with their words or actions. I personally think those people have deeper psychological issues to deal within themselves, and these are now spilling over to others. And sometimes its just pride! You know what they say about pride? It comes before the fall. Watch it.

At the end of it all, it all boils down to treating others they way we would want to be treated, on every platform, in every situation. It requires us to present and mindful of all our interactions with other people and what paradigms inform that. The wheels of fortune will always turn, so make sure that whichever direction they do take; you have humbly positioned yourself for it.

Pslam 146 vs 7: “The Lord upholds the cause of the oppressed”

Universal Laws

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To thrive in any country you need to obey the law, those who live within the confines of the law rarely find much trouble and their pursuits flourish. However, if you break the law, there certainly will be consequences depending on the severity of the crime. If the country is run by a good government, peace and success is maintained, there is no mismanagement of resources and everything happened as it should.

Likewise our living environment has its own laws. Unlike the laws of a country, that can be disputed/amended at a constitutional law, the universal laws have to be accepted as they are. They are an undisputable truth that you take as given. The universe is perfectly balanced by natural and moral laws with regulatory vibrations to maintain order. When you work within the laws, you can be assured of an eventual positive outcome. When the laws are transgressed, you can be assured of suffering. The only purpose of this is to teach you a better way. Universal laws are just like the laws of physics, chemistry or gravity and operate with the same infallible dependability.

  1. The Law of Harmony. This law supersedes even the fundamental law of karma, for harmony is the supreme potential of balance. The purpose of Karma is to obtain harmony. If you throw a rock into a pond, you disturb the harmony of the pond. You are the cause, and the effect is the splash and the ripples that flow out and back until harmony is restored. Similarly, your disharmonious actions flow out into the Universe and back onto you, time after time, until eventually, your own harmony is restored.
  2. The Law of Karma. Every desire you have, every action you perform generates a karmic reaction that eventually must be fulfilled. Actions that generate karma are akin to planting seeds that will fructify at some future. In this life or in a future life. Karma operates on two levels, individual and group/collective karma. Good’ karma gives us desirable results, while ‘bad’ karma gives us pain, suffering and trouble. You and you alone decide what you most need to learn in your earthly sojourn. Whenever you act with intention, you create karma. Actions are considered thoughts, emotions, words and deeds, and the motive, desire and intent behind each.
  3. The Law of Wisdom. Wisdom erases karma. If you have the wisdom to learn your lessons through love and wisdom, you can mitigate your suffering. Sadly, we seem to learn the fastest through pain, through directly experiencing the consequences of our actions. As an example, you greedily take from others, and instead of learning through wisdom and love that this is wrong, you have to experience from others someone greedily taking from you, whether later in this life or in a future lifetime.
  4. The Law of Grace. Karma can be experienced to the letter of the law or in mercy and grace. In other words if you give love, mercy and grace to others, you will receive the same in return. (Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us  – Matthew 6vs12)
  5. The Law of Free Will. You always have free will in how you respond to any situation. If you respond with positive emotions, compassion and integrity, you have probably learnt your karmic lessons and will not have to experience a similar situation in the future.
  6. The Law of Manifestation. Everything manifest begins as a thought, an idea. Ideas and experiences create beliefs, which in turn, create your reality. If you are unhappy with your current reality, you must change your beliefs and your behaviour. Beliefs can be changed once you identify those that are not working for you, and begin programming what will create success and harmony in your life. The unlimited creative power of your mind, through dedication, awareness and training, can be the wisdom to rise above your karma. Within physical and spiritual laws, you can manifest any reality you desire to experience. Concerning changing your behaviour, you must decide which disharmonious behaviour you want to eliminate. Then be aware that you don’t have to change how you feel about something to affect it, if you are willing to change what you are doing. – (Therefore be transformed by the renewal of your mind – Romans 12vs2)
  7. The Law of Gratitude. From the perspective of Karma and the Law of One, the more you give, the more you will receive. The more you assist others, the more you will assist yourself. The power of this Law also works in your day-to-day life.
  8. The Law of Fellowship. When two or more people of similar vibration are gathered for a shared purpose, their combined energy directed to the attainment of that purpose is doubled, tripled, quadrupled or more.
  9. The Law of Resistance. That which you resist, you draw to you, and you will perpetuate its influence upon your life. Resistance is fear, so it is something you need to resolve karmically. The Law of Resistance assures that you let go of the fear by encountering it until you are forced to deal with it by learning conscious detachment. Ever heard of the term: face your fears?
  10. The Law of Attraction. ‘Where your attention goes, your energy flows’. You attract what you are and that which you concentrate upon. If you are negative, you draw in and experience negativity. If you are loving, you draw in and experience love. You can attract to you only those qualities you possess. So, if you want peace and harmony in your life, you must become peaceful and harmonious.
  11. The Law of Reflection. This Law says that the traits you respond to in others, you recognise in yourself, both positive and negative. That which you admire in others, you recognise as existing within yourself. That which you resist and react to strongly in others is sure to be found within yourself. That which you resist and react to in others is something that you are afraid exists within you and that which you resist in yourself, you will dislike in others.
  12. The Law of Unconditional Love. The expression of unconditional love will eventually result in harmony. Unconditional love is not romantic love. It is the acceptance of others as they are without judgement or expectations. It is total acceptance of others without attempting to change them, except by your own positive example. The Law of Unconditional love says, ‘If you go out of your way to express unconditional love, you automatically rise above fear, and as you transcend your fears, you automatically open yourself to unconditional love.

God, the creator of all is present and His adminstration is there. By His orders the sun is rising, the water flows and the oceans abides by the tide. Thus everything functions under His order. Since everything is going on so nicely how can we realistically question the existence of God? If there is mismanagement, we may say that there is no government, but if there’s good management, how can we say there is no government? Just because people dont know God, does not mean He is not there.

I have made reference to biblical scriptures in some of the laws, because the Gospel of Christ is based on the forgiveness of sins. This seemingly complex principle is simply erasing negative universal reactions from your existence. In KRSNA conciousness movement the believe that by chanting the name of the Lord (Christ –Krshna), your karma is cleared. In Christianity, we believe in repentance (acknowledging your sins), receiving forgiveness and accepting Christ in your life gives you a clean slate. This can be done daily, but the first time is most important.

As you start the year, consider how much of yester years burdens you want to carry into your future. If it is forgiveness, that you have to extend, do it. A relationship you need to end, go for it. Above all I wish you attain wisdom to start making the necessary enquiries about your life. Seek ye first His Kingdom and His righteousness and everything will be added unto you. On our planet, one can attest that we have good management in power. The sun rises daily without fail, seasons come and go as anticipated, night has never become day, the animals don’t speak, mountains don’t move and the ocean has never crossed it’s barriers. Knowing who the government is, people have many questions about, however the laws He put in place are unquestionable

 

References: The Yusa guide to Balance (www.yusalife.com), Science of Self Realisation (AC Backtivedenta), The Light within (Dick Sutphen), Holy Bible

Life begins at the End of your Comfort Zone

comfort-zone

Just like when we are born. The moment we leave the comfort of our mother’s womb, life begins. The comfort of being carried, fed, warmth, safety and being thought for ends. Then, only then, do our real lives begin. Our lives take on that same cycle of growth throughout lifetimes. Our comfort has to be compromised for us to rise to the next level. It’s our nature, we learn through pain or passion.

Allow me to illustrate

 

As a child, you learn to walk learn because you are frustrated with not being able to reach the many things that make you so curious. You endure the discomfort of falling many times because you know, once you get it right, your life will never be the same again. As a teenager you fast learn that to stop people from bullying you, you have to stand up for yourself, find your own voice. It forces you to overcome your fear of conflict or confrontation. As a young adult you know that for you to get your degree/diploma, you have to forgo your comforts of sleeping and passivity and strive hard to get what you need to get. We all know what happens to those chaps that attempt an easy way out of varsity; they either dropped out, or kept on repeating years until they got their work ethic right. There’s just no other way.

 

Challenging our comfort zones, has taught me 3 things about life;

 

  1. Grow, or die. If a plant is not growing, it’s dead. If you insist on your comfort, you are slowly dying an invisible death inside. When you bask too much in the comfort of your achievement, your ambition dies. If you get comfortable with your partner and assume their affection\attention will remain perpetual without any extra effort from you, well, sooner or later, their excitement for you will eventually die.

 

  1. Life will repeat the same lessons until we learn what we need to know. Only then will we graduate to the next level of thinking, being and succeeding. Ever wondered why the same life experiences keep on happening to you? It’s like there’s something you do that invites these experiences. In Eastern texts they attribute it to your karma or darma that you need to fulfill before life can present you with new experiences. You need to either change your mentality, they way you do things or interact with the world. You need to learn; otherwise you will repeat that grade in life over, and over again. Unfortunately most people are never aware of what hinders them within themselves and they get stuck on the same level for most of their lives

 

Lastly, I have learnt that once you know something, you know it! No one or anything can take it away from you. It becomes embedded in your character because you have gone out of your way to attain it. As a child you only have to learn to walk once and that’s it! You only learn once (the hard way) that nothing good comes easy and from there on you appreciate the good things your have and are weary of the ones to come too easily. If you’re not ready to grow, then you’re not in enough pain.

Life is a continual journey. As we grow physically, we also evolve mentally, spiritually and metaphysically. Nothing is a hindrance to your development except yourself. The only competition you have in life right now is your thinking and attitude towards life. Everyday presents an opportunity for growth, no matter how small. Staying in comfort will not open you up to new ways of thinking and risk stagnation.

 

Be alert. Life is a test from when we are born until we die. Because, think about it; had you resisted exiting your mother’s womb when circumstances required you to do so, you would be dead. And be still born.

Lady Wisdom

Do you hear Lady Wisdom calling? 

Can you hear Madame Insight raising her voice?

She’s taken her stand at First and Main,
 at the busiest intersection. Right in the city square
 where the traffic is thickest, she shouts;

“You—I’m talking to all of you,
 everyone out here on the streets!
Listen, you idiots—learn good sense!
You blockheads—shape up!
Don’t miss a word of this—I’m telling you how to live well,
 I’m telling you how to live at your best.

My mouth chews and savors and relishes truth—
I can’t stand the taste of evil!
You’ll only hear true and right words from my mouth;
not one syllable will be twisted or skewed.
You’ll recognize this as true—you with open minds;
 truth-ready minds will see it at once.

Prefer my life-disciplines over chasing after money,
 and God-knowledge over a lucrative career.
For Wisdom is better than all the trappings of wealth;
nothing you could wish for holds a candle to her.

“I am Lady Wisdom, and I live next to Sanity;
 Knowledge and Discretion live just down the street.
Good counsel and common sense are my characteristics;
 I am both Insight and the Virtue to live it out.

With my help, leaders rule,
and lawmakers legislate fairly;
With my help, governors govern,
 along with all in legitimate authority.
I love those who love me; those who look for me find me.
Wealth and Glory accompany me—
also substantial Honor and a Good Name.

My benefits are worth more than a big salary, even a very big salary;
the returns on me exceed any imaginable bonus.
You can find me on Righteous Road—that’s where I walk—
 at the intersection of Justice Avenue,
Handing out life to those who love me,
 filling their arms with life—armloads of life!

God sovereignly made me—the first, the basic—
 before he did anything else.
I was brought into being a long time ago, well before Earth got its start.
I arrived on the scene before Ocean, yes, even before Springs and Rivers and Lakes.
Before Mountains were sculpted and Hills took shape,
I was already there, newborn;
Long before God stretched out Earth’s Horizons,
and tended to the minute details of Soil and Weather,
And set Sky firmly in place, I was there.

When he mapped and gave borders to wild Ocean,
 built the vast vault of Heaven,
 and installed the fountains that fed Ocean,
When he drew a boundary for Sea, posted a sign that said no trespassing,
And then staked out Earth’s Foundations,
I was right there with him, making sure everything fit.
Day after day I was there, with my joyful applause,
always enjoying his company,
Delighted with the world of things and creatures, happily celebrating the human family.

“So, my dear friends, listen carefully;
 those who embrace these my ways are most blessed.
Mark a life of discipline and live wisely;
don’t squander your precious life.

Blessed the man, blessed the woman, who listens to me,
awake and ready for me each morning,
alert and responsive as I start my day’s work.
When you find me, you find life, real life,
 to say nothing of God’s good pleasure.

But if you wrong me, you damage your very soul;
 when you reject me, you’re flirting with death.”

_Proverbs 8

Here and Now

value

 

The above picture resonates a lot of truth doesn’t it? Somehow once we have something it feels like we’ve had it all our lives and we get comfortable with it…until we loose it. Is it really because we take things for granted? Or we procrastinate gratification? But even some of the most grateful people on earth still experience the above phoenomina to a certain degree.

Maybe its because we quickly adapt to what we acquire, tick the box, and move on to the next exploit. We don’t take time to savor the moment, our minds are never present, even while we think we are enjoying something, we are subconsciously occupied by other thoughts. Let me illustrate;

Ever wondered after you’ve had a very long day all you want to do is sleep, but somehow you struggle to fall asleep because your mind is racing? – you just cannot stop thinking. At times this may go on for hours until its time to wake up and you face a new day with very little or no sleep. Have you asked yourself exactly who is trying to sleep and who is busy thinking? If its just one you, why cant you just decide to sleep and everything switches off? And somehow there’s always this song that’s constantly playing in the back of your head! It’s like your life has a soundtrack to every situation, and you have no choice at what song plays, but most annoyingly you don’t know how to switch that invisible radio off!

As human beings we are mind, body, spirit and these aspects of our being operate in unity to bring us the full experience we call life. But we often tend to live from the bodily and mental aspects of our being and expect the spirit to automatically follow suit. When in fact we should be existing from the spiritual dimension which is the essence of who we truly are and allow body and mind to follow. By the way, your brain is not your mind – but that’s a topic for another day.

So I struggled for a while to grasp this concept of me being a spirit with a body and how my mind needs to be mastered for me to fully exist in the now. How do I shut my mind to hear what my soul says and be present, in every moment? When a person can halt the incessant stream of thoughts and ‘get out’ of the mind, he or she can then truly start to feel the inner body and stillness that lies much deeper within. When a person can truly embrace and live fully in the present moment and operate from the heart space, he or she is met with a formless, timeless presence that holds vastness. A deeper dimension which uncovers the language of the universe where we are creators. The heart is actually the one portal through which you can access your soul, but that deserves a whole article on its own.

For me to fully understand the concept of now, I came across this very technical description which somehow totally made sense to me: “Absolutely everything you see, touch, and feel is energy. All matter is a construct of atoms, positively charged particles that are bound together by an electromagnetic static charge. This static charge is what keeps the particle constantly orbiting the nucleus. The majority of atomic make up is the formless light spacing between the nucleus and orbiting particles. Everything you perceive to be solid in reality, at the deepest level, is actually formless”.

So in actual fact the only thing that truly exists here is YOU, and you are only alive now. Not tomorrow, not yesterday, but now! So whatever it is you are doing now is the only true manifestation of your existence, everything else is perception. The things we have embedded in our subconscious mind usually direct the perspective from which we see our reality and are also the exact same things that bring noise in our minds coz think about it; every song that plays in your back ground you have heard before.

Learn to truly appreciate the present moment because its all that you have. It is being here now that is important. There’s no past, there’s no future. Time is a very misleading thing. All there ever is, is the now. We can gain experience from the past, but we can’t relieve it, and we can hope for a future but we don’t know if there is one. I wish I knew how to control the mind and be fully present at every moment of everyday, but unfortunately I can only do it at the moments at which I raise my awareness and intentionally choosing to be present.

I have probably created more questions than provide answers in this article, but that’s a good thing because now you will search for your own truth. Do not take what I say as absolute truth, only believe that which resonates your soul. In life we only find what we look for and if its knowledge you seek go find it! It all begins with awareness. We are eternal beings and nothing is too great for our minds to comprehend.

 

Refferences;

The Yusa guide to balance

The power of Now

M_eye_nd

My Soul Is Alright With Me.

I am a child born of love, so let love remain in my heart and my mind. Let love and joy be my friend, give me peace with no end. Let me live with no fear and no shame. Let me begin to see love come alive in my life. Let me feel how it feels to be me!

A longing and pounding in my heart, led me to want so much more out of life. Led me to forgive every hurt, to let go of the past and allow myself to heal every pain.

Now I am free, yes! I hold my head up high. The burden on my shoulder is no longer with me. Now I can breathe, and I feel so much at ease. My soul is alright with me.

Let love and joy, be my friend, give me peace with no end. Let me live with no fear – I don’t want to fear. Let me begin to see love come alive in my life, let me feel how it feels to have joy.

Let me be free from disease. Let my heart feel at ease. Let me know  how it feels to be free.

-Miss Lira

Soul in mind

How (un)Fortunate!

So this Saturday, my vacuum cleaner decided to teach me a lesson; A real one! Woke up early-ish on that day and decided to spring clean my room. This also involved moving things around and changing the way my bed was positioned.

I usually have music on when I clean, but I decided not to put the radio on coz I know I have to vacuum my carpet first so it will make noise and I wont hear my playlist. So after shifting everything I took my vacuum cleaner and went to work. To my dismay, the vacuum cleaner didn’t wanna switch on. I tried every button and switch, but nothing. I thought maybe I had neglected to read the manual properly coz my sister assembled it for me, I was usually passive when it came to such.Keep calm and get

So I got the user manual read it cover to cover. I even learnt that I needed to change the filter and so I got the dirt out. For the first time ever, I realized how much I needed this thing. After all attempts were made, I then resolved that the vacuum cleaner was broken and it was time to fetch the broom. My room had to be cleaned and re-arranged so crying over the vacuum cleaner wasn’t gonna help. I was on the verge of throwing a pity party because I felt like nothing in my life was going right. I didn’t have the best of weeks and my geyser had recently been broken and now this. I was feeling rather despondent. But I couldn’t fall apart because it wasn’t going to change anything.

After sweeping the entire carpeted room and moving stuff around I went to fetch the dustpan to scoop the dirt. And while I was walking down the stairs, I heard my microwave beep! Then it hit me: there was no electricity the whole time. I quickly rushed to switch on my vacuum cleaner and it worked!

Not once did I consider a power outage a possibility, but there I was with egg on my face and a sore back. This taught me the following lessons about disappointment;

It’s not as bad as I think.

This vacuum cleaner not working doesn’t mean the end of the world and it has no reflection of how my entire life is going. One can easily drown on the missed opportunity and feel as though nothing better will ever come. It’s not as if I don’t have a broom to clean up with. The vacuum cleaner not participating doesn’t determine whether my room gets clean or not.

There was a way of cleaning the house before the hoover and there will always be a way. I once survived without it.

It’s not a reflection on you.

Stop taking things personally! If you didn’t get the job, it doesn’t mean that you are the worst candidate or you’re not worthy of good things. It just means that someone was destined to get the job and there’s a better opportunity waiting for you ahead. So relaying my life as pathetic purely because there was no electricity is so not AYOBA!

The vacuum cleaner is “broken” not me.

Accept the situation and find way forward

We sometimes dwell too much on what went wrong instead of acknowledging its occurance and then look to find a solution. Coz it doesn’t matter how much I would have cried and felt sorry for myself, it didn’t change the fact that this thing is not working and my room still needs to be cleaned. Even if I had announced it to all the neighbors, it wouldn’t have changed my situation.

MoveSo instead of sharing your misfortune with everyone over and over again, try to find a way to get over it. It doesn’t matter how much sympathy you get, you still need to move on and get on with it; Misery loves company, don’t give it room!

Dissapointments test your will power

The vacuum cleaner breaking down highlighted how much I wanted to re arrange and clean my room. If I didn’t look for other ways to do it, it means I was unconciously comfortable with it not happening. That’s why they say “if at first you don’t succeed, dust yourself up and try again”. How much you want something is determined by the lengths at which you will go to get it!

Maybe that wasn’t the plan

When things don’t go the way we planned, we get so devastated and think: “that’s it!” all hope’s lost. Firstly who said your plan was “THE” plan? Maybe God already has something planned for you and it didn’t look anything like that which you had planned for yourself. We must admit that we sometimes miscalculate our objectives and we must forever be ready for what comes next.

It’s not your fault

I took for granted the fact the vacuum cleaner does not only rely on me to press the “start” button for it to work. But it also needed electricity. Here I am sitting and thinking that I was such a bad owner who never cleaned to poor thing, while instead it had its own problems! (it’s a pity it couldn’t tell me though). We do tend to blame ourselves when people disappoint us. Yes we have our own faults but their actions are not directly driven by our actions.

You didn’t get that job because the other candidate grew up in Cape town and you didn’t. And no, there’s nothing wrong with coming from Foschville, it’s just that this time it didn’t work for you. Don’t punish yourself.

The last and most important lesson I learnt is that; You don’t know what you’ve got till its gone. The time I was sweeping the carpet manually, that was the peak moment where I wished I had a vacuum cleaner. I didn’t appreciate mine and now it was gone and I felt like such a fool. It’s funny how life takes the smallest things to teach you a big lesson.Dissapointment

“It is not your job in life to judge what is right or wrong for somebody else. When another person behaves in a manner, which seems to be unhealthy or unproductive, we must not judge. We must learn to accept. Once we accept this is how the person chooses to behave, we have the right to decide whether or not we want to participate” -IyanlaVanzant

We don’t choose what happens to us, but we choose how we react to it.

#004: People!

GoodbyeIn life we will go through different seasons, as mother earth changes, we change too. Things can turn out for better or the worst, at any time, but nonetheless they will change. And interestingly all those changes involve people. It’s actually people who make the world go around!

Imagine of all the 5billion people in the world, the people that are currently in your life are the odd 3000 that you know. Is that a coincidence? I don’t think so. Every person walks into your life at a particular time for a reason. We never know why certain people come into our lives, and no one can ever fathom the reason why people’s paths cross in life.

Some paths will bring you pure bliss while others you wish you can erase from the face of history.  In your entire lifetime, you have met the people you needed to meet (and there are still more to meet) and they will always be part of who you are whether you choose to celebrate it or not.

There are people who will come into your life and make you grateful for being alive- everyday. It may be your children, family, friends, acquaintances, neighbors, collegues, spouse or  even strangers. But regardless, you cannot imagine how your life would have turned out without them. Some are there to give you strength, some encouragement, life, laughs, being, pruning. Those people who make it a point that they will not rest until your happiness or sucess is secured. They may not be many in our lives, but they are surely there. Usually some of these relationships take the soul of you to build, but at their peak they bring the sweetest aroma to your life. For them we give thanks and our prayers as they do the same for us.

However, in life you will you will have to meet (and pray for) another kind of people. The people who do not give a flying hoot about you. Certain people will tear you down, as in like totally break you and then move on with their lives. And trust me; they won’t miss you for a second! These are the ones who test character.

Weigh yuo downTrials build character. That’s why you must love your enemies and the people who hurt you because they presented you with an opportunity to grow. Each time they exposed you to a hard time, they stretched your capabilities and wisdom. And regardless of how the friendship ended, you still pursue peace with them. Not the “I want you back”, “bitter”, “ please be my friend” kinda peace, but peace that heals you more than them. This is why after every goodbye, we must learn to breathe, reflect, learn our lesson, forgive ourselves, forgive the other and move on!

However, be very careful, that even after the person’s chapter has ended in your life, you insist on holding on to them for unhealthy reasons. I don’t understand how we humans are- for some odd reason we have this fascination about people who don’t like us or reject us. It’s like you try to prove a point to yourself that there is actually an individual out there in the world who doesn’t want you. I mean who rejects such an awesome, considerate person that you are? Well, here’s a…..NEWSFLASH!: You are not money, not everyone will want you. Misery loves company, so remove yourself from any situation that no longer honors you, before you drown in it.

Being alive is a blessing and having people who love us is a greater blessing. Loving those who don’t love us is a multiplied blessing.  If you say you want to know God, you must start by knowing that which defines HIM; Love, Grace and Forgiveness. Live these out and you will see His glory.

Love tolerance

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Give thanks for L.I.F.E

Noluthando Khanyile

 

Unconditional Love!!! (memoirs of an Earth day)

So 2 Saturdays ago (12 October) it was my birthday, and for the first time ever I had a birthday party I didn’t organise. It was really a blessed and joyous one for me. This day taught me one thing: Whatever energy you give out to the universe it will echo back to you. In Christian terms it simply means that the Lord who sees what you do in secret will reward you publicly. I give thanks for being loved by HIM.

Cake

The Lord just showered me with so much love through our friends.

Ton and Dora

Meet Dora and Ton. This couple organised such a beautiful birthday for me when I went to visit them at their farm Douglas. I had only met with them twice ever in my life and they took the time to love on me and make me feel special on my special day.

They invited all their friends around the farm to come share this day with me. *Blessed love* Oh before I tell you more about Ton and Dora. Now meet Ethel

Me and sista

So this lovely, radiant, woman of God shares a birthday with me! When I was told they will host a party for me in Douglas and I could bring a friend or two, naturally the first person I thought of was a co-miss party!!!  Mrs Ethel runs an orphanage for abounded kids in Soweto(http://www.innerheights.co.za/inner-heights-foundation/hope-for-the-helpless-childrens-home); she really needed the break especially on her birthday weekend and boy was it special!

They even had special birthday chairs for us. She was turning 76 and I was turning 26, but she’s one of the best friends I have ever had!

Birthday chairs

We spent the day with new friends

New friends

And old ones.

old frnds

Mom and Zan

And special friends…

Special

We had the youth choir sing for us…

youth choir

…and the men’s choir

Mens chpir

It was undoubtedly the best birthday of my life! I could tangibly feel the genuine love all around me. I was blessed with new parents, brothers and sisters, children, etc. At the end of the day my heart could not contain or express the joy and contentment I felt inside. I felt like expanding my being, reaching out beyond the universe and shouting: JESUS IS LORD!!!!!!!!! Blessed loving thanks!

party time

Befday gals

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

On Sunday, we all enjoyed fellowship together with all of our party friends…

Church sign

And then we went to visit Sarah and Andries at their home;

Andries and Sarah

Ton and Dora are busy on a project to renovate their outside rooms for the ministry Sarah and Andries are partaking on. You see Sarah gave birth to a disabled child and from that the coupled was inspired to start looking after severely disabled children in the area. It is not an easy mission, but it seems the Lord is fuelling them with enough love and blessing to go on.

This is some of the work that has been done so far.

school room right

Inside

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Earlier I promised to tell you more about Ton and Dora. They are from Holland and are founders of a charity foundation called Eye for others (www.eyeforothers.nl) and their basic mission is to make a difference for children. They have worked for my years with many people to raise funds and build a secure future for children in poverty stricken areas. They have conducted projects mainly in the North West and Northern cape.

This is a nursery school they built from scratch for the children in Douglas

outreach

skul projektrffic circle

When we went to see it I was fortunate to interact with the little ones in the area, and luckily I had sweets in the car so I was miss popular :). I especially fell in love with the little boy in the orange jersey, I think purely because he was the youngest *ncooah*

 Douglas kids

My special one

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

We ended off our birthday weekend by going to watch the sunset by the Vaal river mouth (the Vaal becomes the Orange river heading to the ocean). It was another time of worshiping and marveling at the splendor of the Lords creation.

Me and patus all Us

Sunset

We drove back to Jozi on Monday morning with joy in our hearts and love in our lives.

PS: Last week, Sarah and Andries unfortunately lost their grandchild from a brief illness;  May her soul rest in peace and may the Lord heal their hearts.

Here’s a piece Zandra wrote on the weekend we had together: http://iamzandrahabana.wordpress.com/2013/10/15/we-need-to-act/. We all have the ability to change the world.

Ps:  If you enjoyed this picture blog, you might like following www.fabby101.wordpress.com. This lady has a gift of telling stories through pictures. Enjoy 🙂

#Ayashisamateki: New Beginnings

So lately my weekends have been spent up and about jozi streets, looking for worthy children to benefit from the Ayashisamateki project. By worthy I mean: they are younger than 20, are not completely drowning in drugs and they can show me where they stay and tell me a bit more about themselves. I’ve spent time with street children (and adults) in Berea, Hilbrow, Braamfontein, Jozi.

I have, however, developed a special bond with the young boys living under the Mandela Bridge. Mostly because they are the first group I was introduced to by my friend Alex who visits them regularly and they have the youngest age group living there (as young as 11). So I’ve grown to know some of them personally, and when I get left-over food donations around town I take it to them. Engaging with these young men has taught me something very important about life: If something is meant to happen, it will happen. And, you can only help people that want to be helped- you cannot force your compassion on other.

So when I first saw the 11 year old boys at the bridge, I collected their names for shoe sizes with the rest of the group. However they were so tiny that my heart didn’t allow me to leave them behind so I arranged to take them to the orphanage in Mofolo that I have I have been supporting for the past year. We begged the little boys to come with me so they can be fed and warm and we were already making plans to get them to school. One was very reluctant, but *Tom (not his real name) who is from Limpopo wanted to go to the shelter and was excited to leave the street. They spent 2 days at the orphanage and on the 3rd day they stole money (R50) and ran away-back to the street. About a week later, I went to collect Tom again who admitted he was influenced by the other boy and wants to go back to the home. When we got there he was so happy to see the Gogo and hugged her like she was his mother. I felt our mission was accomplished and a young child will get to be taken care of, go to school and find his family. A day later I got a call from the older guys at the bridge telling me Tom was back. I was sad. But oh well, I tried.

At the same bridge I had met another young man (Boyza), however he was 21 years old and wasn’t my primary concern really as the little ones had captured all my attention. Boyza only had 1 request: He wanted to go back home to Qwaqwa. He came to Joburg with his mother when he was young. At age 9, his mom left where they were visiting as though to go to the shops nearby and she never came back for him. So at that tender age he was forced raise himself and live on the street. With that said, when you come across him today you can never tell he lives under a bridge. He washes and gets piece jobs washing and parking cars to have some decent clothes.

I had given my number to an elder boy Lebo, to contact me as he was helping me move around jozi to find beneficiaries (esp girls) and it helps to walk the streets with a street wise person. So about a week after Boyza asked me for money to go home, he took my number from Lebo and called me to remind me about his request. I told him I will make a plan after we distribute the shoes (as he might also get a pair). My biggest worry about this was that; what if he gets the money and doesn’t go home? Or if he does get to Qwaqwa and finds no one home or he can’t even remember his way there. After all I was there to buy them shoes, not to be a social worker. This was just tricky.

On Sunday morning, Boyza called me again, this time almost in tears. He told me he got stabbed the previous night and he is tired of the street life, he desperately wants to go home. He is not even willing to wait for his new pair of shoes from Ayashisamateki. He wanted to go. I think he called me 6 times that day. So my friend Alex agreed to accompany me to see them on Tuesday evening. And Boyza showed me his scars (not too bad) and he was still on that going home tip. He assured us that he remembers his way back and will try his best to get his life together. He said he realises that if he keeps moving with the street motions he will either end up dead or be like the dirty old men that eat from dustbins and he didn’t want that.

I gave in eventually and Alex was willing to accompany him to the taxi the following day. I agreed to help save his life from danger only of he allows me to tell him how his soul can also be saved. I introduced him to Jesus Christ and he was delighted to meet Him. He told me he loves going to church but was never sure if he’s saved. This was a brand new start for him, and He now had the Lord of all on his side to face this new chapter. I was beyond happy. We started planning how he’s gonna start a vegetable garden at home while he looks for work. He asked that I organise him a small bag for his clothes so he doesn’t get home with plastic bags and maybe an extra pair of shoes to see him through the next months as the ones he had were almost finished. Again, I said i’ll make a plan and we parted. What happened from here on was both out of this world and humbling.Bye Boyza

At home I managed to find him a small bag my brother didn’t use anymore. In it I packed him some oranges for the trip, a motivational Christian book and a t-shirt. On Wednesday morning I went to the storage where we keep the Ayashisamateki donations to get him some socks and possibly shoes. To my surprise, I found a fresh pair of Puma sneakers (donated recently as it was sitting on top of a packed pile), and they were exactly his size! Brother Alex came to collect the bag and transport money (obtained from the shoe donations- thank you guys). His fare was R 170 and I gave him an extra R50 for pocket money.

Alex walked him to the taxi rank. Got him onto the taxi, paid the driver and wrote Boyza’s details down and they said their goodbyes. Just make sure he was indeed serious about going back, Alex waited by a corner somewhere for 10 mins and afters seeing that Boyza didn’t run of, he went back for the final, final goodbye. To his surprise when he got to the taxi he found another man sitting next to and talking to Boyza. This man thanked Alex for paying this young man’s fare to go to Qwaqwa. I turned out the guys is Boyza’s uncle and they have been looking for him years on end. And there he was in the same taxi, going to the same house with him. Immediately he called home and told them he was coming home with a special somebody. If this is not a miracle, I don’t know what is.

Alex had this to say about Boyza’s trip: “I have never seen Boyza take such bold strides. He is walking tall, confident, smiling with no clue what to expect when he gets to a place he calls home. The streets are all the love he has ever known. They; embraced him, Hugged him, Protected him, Abused him, Yet comforted him.”

All along I have been trying to help kids that don’t want to be helped (or don’t know any better), while there was someone who needed the help and was ready to receive it. Yes, Alex and I happened to be at the right place at the right time to help Boyza, but already His help had been prepared by the Lord. For many are the plans in a man’s heart, but only God’s will prevails. I don’t believe any of this is coincidence, it was pre-destined and God had set His eyes on Boyza’s life way before we came into the picture. He is indeed sovereign.

As for Tom, I’ve sort of given up on him; he’ll find help when he’s ready. Even though I’m a person that looks at world through my heart, I haven’t got time for games; I honestly have way better things to do with my love. I want to thank Brother Alex for introducing me to guys and walking this journey with me. To Sis Mpume Myeza; thanks for creating the atmosphere for Boyza to share his request and a bigger thank you to everyone that donated to the project which ultimately help give Boyza a new beginning. As for me, everyone says the Lord will bless me for reaching out to the destitute, I say: I am already blessed with the honour of being God’s hands and feet. That He entrusts me with His children and He gives me so much love that it overflows.

#Ayashisamateki clearly isn’t about shoes, but lives.

Blessings!

 

PS: I got a call from Boyza on Thursday morning telling me he arrived safely. He told me he was on his was to get information at a local FET to learn welding. It will definitely take a while for him re-integrate to his community. But he will never spend another night on the street. Mission accomplished!

#Ayashis’Mateki

old sIt is really fascinating how in life so much emphasis is placed on things. What car one drives, the house you live in, the clothes you wear, even what kind of food we eat and yet so little focus is placed on people!

A herd of lions will not walk past a lost cub, they would take it in and look after it because even though they don’t know the cub’s parents it is still one of their own. It therefore fascinates me how we walk past abandoned kids on the streets and not even give the smallest care.  As Innerheights, we believe it’s time to start caring for these children because we don’t know their stories hence it is not our place to judge, but to love.

AyashisaMateki is the first of many projects aimed at making “street life” better for these kids, with the ultimate goal being to get them off the streets as much as is possible.  Young girls and boys are getting lost (and used) on the daily, something needs to be done. But first, we start with the basics: SHOES!

mateki

A lot of children that live on the street have probably owned one pair of shoes their whole life. Some don’t even have shoes at all and those that do; the pairs are WORN OUT and DIRTY and some DON’T even FIT anymore!

Please join us in a quest to collect 100 pairs of shoes (and socks) to alleviate this problem. Winter is upon us and such a gesture will go a very long way. This is initiative is in partnership with Standard bank CIB graduates so all collection points will be based around Simmonds street.

Here are 3 simple steps on how you can help:

  • Donate 100 towards the purchase of shoes
  • Donate a pair of old sneakers (in decent condition)
  • Drop off donations at collection points

We have met with the children and managed to obtain most of their shoe sizes. We anticipate distributing the shoes on the 29th and 30th June. Our key areas of focus are kids (between the age of 8 and 18) that live in:

  • Braaamfontein (by the Mandela Bridge, Pick n Pay)
  • Joubert Park
  • Small Street near Shoprite
  • Yoevile and
  • Hilbrow

If you would like to participate in the project in any way or would like to assist on the day of distribution, please send me an e-mail: noluthando@innerheights.co.za

Keep watch for our weekly barometer that will track progress on how many shoes we’ve collected so far!

Thanks a million :):):)

Innerheights Foundation

So I came to Joburg…

It is called the City of Gold, but where you find gold, there is always rubble nearby. Here are 2 ladies who both came to joburg for different reasons, yet they are somewhat faced with the same reality.

Let me tell you their stories. Both are fictional, but have volumes to speak about what the real world offers women out there.

Story 1:

At age 6, both her parents were deceased, left to be raised by 2 older sisters, age 18 and 26 but useless. She struggled growing up (raising herself) and ultimately when she was 17 she decided to go to Jozi for a better chance at life. Here she met Sis Girly the pimp, who gave her a place to stay, taught her how to be a woman and how you need to sell your “thing” to get all you need. For a while life was comfortable being caught up with the money and the bling. At age 20 she was still pretty but her value had diminished that even for 40 bucks any man could get a ride.

At age 25 she eventually died of Aids, leaving 2 fatherless less kids, aged 2 and 6. About six weeks later there were heavy-cold rains and the kids couldn’t survive the cold in the pipe they were sleeping in (with no blankets). That night the 2 year old died, and a week later municipal workers discovered the body. Now here’s this 6 year old wandering the streets of Jozi with no clue how she will make ends meet. She learnt that sniffing glue keeps you warm and makes you forget the hunger, so that becomes her daily hustle because in this place, no one gives a care. Written by Mbongeni Khanyile

I’m sure you’ve come across a news headline that talks about a baby (dead or alive) being found abandoned in a bin somewhere. Now you know where they come from!

Story 2:

A teenager (Thandeka) comes to Jozi for the first time to study Law at wits and she is welcomed by an old friend from back home (KZN). This friend highlights to her that here in the city the “razor cut” weave makes you look rural and they don’t wear jeans and sneakers to the clubs, but freakums. Thandeka is quickly introduced to her home-girl’s boyfriend who drives the fanciest car she has ever seen. At the club they are treated like royalty and she receives R5000 as an apology coz her friend’s boyfriend touched her ass by mistake;  Which she reluctantly accepts.

This story goes into detail on the day to day decisions Thandeka has to make, and unfortunately her sense of morals is weak and she gets herself into all sorts of drama. After her home-girl dies (car-accident), she assumes the role of being the new girlfriend to Mr 5000. This is a well off girl, mind you. She lives in a fully furnished flat that is owned by her uncle and she shares it with some girl. So she really doesn’t need Mr 5000’s money, but for some reason it constantly lands up on her hands.  She later finds out that her new roomate is actually her uncle’s sugar baby… Written by Mike Maphotho (for the full story go to: http://diaryofazulugirl.co.za

There’s an urban dynamic that occurs in cities, that unfortunately consumes young women in a tragic way. But also there is an element of choice. Without judging; Thandeka is rather well off, and the lady in the 1st story is not entirely a victim because not all orphaned kids have to end up in prostitution. All it takes is for these women to have a sense of pride in themselves are and know their value. Ladies: it is important to know who you are and being content with what you have. Yes, Joburg offers incredible opportunities, but if things don’t work out well, it will not kill you to go back home. Unless you want get there dead already. And here, there are so many ways to die.

“In life (and love) there are no guarantees. That is why it is important to love yourself first”

girl-all-alone

Unfortunately in big cities such stories have become a norm and street kids are just part of the ecosystem. We have somehow chosen to look the other way because these “things” are just pests! But unfortunately, street kids are just that, kids! Behind those naughty faces are children who have no one ask them how there are, let alone provide for their daily needs.

These children are very close to my heart because I believe it’s not fair for any child to miss out on their childhood. I am personally planning a few projects to make a difference in their lives. If you would like to be informed/be a part of this work, you can send me an e-mail at noluthando@innerheights.co.za and we can get cracking. It is getting colder outside, so our efforts must be swift.

 

“For evil to triumph, all it takes is for good men to sit and do nothing”

http://www.innerheights.co.za/inner-heights-foundation

#002: People who Love You but Won’t Give Up their Comfort to Protect you

Seeds of loveIn life you are willing to go an extra mile for someone you love because you know they would do the same for you. But sometimes the people that we truly love (and we believe love us), might not be willing to go the extra mile for us. Often times these people think there is nothing they can do to help us out, when infact there are so many opportunities to do so but they never open their eyes to them.

Maybe it’s a lack of will power or fear of the unknown, but in most cases the person is just a coward. They are afraid to face up to the situation and what it might do to their comfort (status quo). Deep down inside they hope the problem will go away by itself and you are strong enough to handle the disappointment. Sad thing is; if they let you down once and you recover from it, you best believe it will happen again. Let me give you a few examples;

Your husband knows (and acknowledges) how his mother is condescending and disrespectful towards you for no reason whatsoever. Yet he would still bring her to visit at least 2 months every year. A classic example is when a parent remains silent while another person hurts or violates their child. Last week I watched the movie “Precious” http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Precious_(film)  and this type of conditional love was blatantly clarified in my mind (and heart).

Precious is a 16 year old girl, who is struggling with her grades at school and is pregnant with her second child. Her first baby is 3 years old and has Down’s syndrome. By the way Precious is not the prettiest of girls and has never had a boyfriend in her life. You see, her daddy has been molesting her since she was 3 years old and has fathered both her kids. Her mother has known about this ever since, at first she tried to stop her man from hurting the child by asking him over and over again: “What are you doing to my baby?”

Precious’ mom couldn’t face the trauma of losing her man and being a single mom. Well the guy eventually left her, unemployed, single, depressed and with 2 grandchildren. That woman seemed demented, all she did all day was sit on the couch, watch tv and collect a welfare grant for her unemployment and grandchild. Oh by the way at the end of the movie Precious’ dad dies of Aids, just after Precious gave birth to the second child.

I know that this is an extreme case of conditional love, but it really highlights the damage that gets done when you don’t stand up to protect the ones you love.  For evil to triumph it takes good men to sit and do nothing. Here’s how I have learnt to deal with people that I know love me, but would not give up their comfort to protect me:

1.       Protect yourself. But love them anyway.

If your well being is constantly affected by their poor choices (or lack thereof) get yourself out. You need to look out for number 1 first. I strongly believe that you should leave a situation that no longer honours you. Love them from a distance.

And loving them may sometimes mean just praying for the person or simply forgiving them. You don’t want to get yourself too close so they can hurt you again. Just like Precious decided to take her kids and go live where her mom cannot find her. But I’m sure in her heart she still hoped that her mom becomes a better person and digs herself out of the misery she created for herself.

2.       Love without expectation.

Never allow people to change who you are inside. If you chose to love, do it without reservation and expectation no matter how many times you’ve been let down. People will always be who they want, and frankly that’s what really makes the world go round.

3.       Look for unconditional love in the right place

Only God’s love is without conditions. Once you fully know and understand how much God loves you and how precious you are to Him, you will never again seek affirmation anywhere else. Perfect love drives out all fear- You will never be afraid of being let down because you know God’s got your back, always. And God has the power to protect your heart from the pain. You will find yourself going through the worst of situations but you never lose your peace of mind and you never fall apart (even when you expect yourself to)- This is what it means to be hidden in the Lord.

“Greater love has no one than this; that someone lay down his life for his friends”  John 15:13

Ps: There are many “Precious” girls out there, especially in the South Africa we live in today. Protect them for me. Pretty please…

#Ok, next we talk about people that are hard to please (for real :) )

#01: Ungrateful People

You throw a 50c coin at a beggar and to your surprise he stands up and shows you so much gratitude for it. I mean it’s not much, but for the fact that they were grateful for the 50c, doesn’t it compel you to give them a little bit more because they were grateful for little? Well ungrateful people will give you a totally different reaction.Ungrateful

No matter what you do for these people, it will never be enough. This type is usually family members or friends that you care deeply about. They know that you will never leave them stranded and in turn take your compassion for granted.

It’s like going to buy petrol for instance, after you have paid, the petrol attendant won’t say “thank you” in fact they shouldn’t because you are expected to pay. Which brings me to the problem with ungrateful people:  They have a sense of entitlement. Why should they thank you, when you HAVE to do A, b and c for them? You are expected to do stuff for them!

You can buy the whole earth for these people, but they won’t be grateful for it because it didn’t come with the moon. Often times they will give you deceptive appreciation, saying “thanks” with a thousand complaints underneath their breath. These ones will side with your enemies and not hesitate to give false witness against you because you never give them the best (according to their expectation). So when people congregate to say you’re a terrible person, they will definitely add to that conversation.

I’ve had to deal with my fair share of ungrateful people, and trust me being constantly overlooked hurts. Now I know better, and learnt valuable lessons from them. I have learnt to:

  • Give without expectation
  • Never inconvenience myself to accommodate them. I can only give what I can
  • Not to beat myself up if I can’t help them at that time
  • To give more assistance to the people that actually does appreciate my efforts.  Gratitude invites more blessing
  • I can actually survive life without them (they actually need me more than I need them)

My greatest advice on how to deal with such people is to STOP doing stuff for them! Or just give the bare minimum. Maybe then they will realise the value you add to their lives and show you appreciation. You know what they say: “You never miss the water until the well runs dry”

We were all created to serve one master and that is God. You don’t owe anybody anything, unless they are your child, even in that case there are limits. Yes we are commanded to love one another and give the other cheek, but at certain times, tough love goes a long way in gaining respect and teaching people to say Thank you.

It’ the same with God, when we thank him for little, He blesses us with more!

#Next : It’s  people that are impossible to please. No matter how well you do, it will never be enough for them….

When men sing…

I once did a blog, on vocal house and how women are expressing themselves through music. I like music in that it gives you a way to shout out to the world y what you want to say, in a beautiful way.

House music is another lover of my soul, and Deep Vocal house just speaks to the life in me. I know I’m sounding like I’m speaking in parables, but I just cannot to define how I love it. Anyway,  enough about me. You see, when men sing they have truckloads to say, again in a very beautiful way. I mean there’s tracks like “What do I gotta do”- Roland Clark Urban. Soul (Erik kuffer mix), that take you to a palce you have never been before and yet you like being there. There’s something about a man’s voice on a house beat.

Thus, my dear friends, I would like to honour some of the greatest house vocalists of our time, and some of the awesome music they’ve delivered for us. This is not a valentine’s day post, I’m honouring men for different reasons this time. God willing, I will put together a podcast of all the tracks mentioned in this post. In no particular order:

Somewhere

Nathan X

I actually don’t know much about this vocalist, but his collaboration with Cuebar definitely got my attention. “Walk a mile” is one of those tracks you can listen to the entire day over and over again and everything remains alright. I remember the first time I heard it was on a short clip from a friend of mine. I tell you, He searched far and wide to get the full track because it was so hard to get it out of mind. Oh, he also hooked me up soon after he found it, way’dlala Chucky J

Donald

Next guy on my list is Donald, came out of nowhere with “I Deserve” and then “Denial” hay after lapho I became a fan. He’s a Proudly South African artist who is taking vocal house to other levels, with meaningful lyrical content at that. I’m expecting lot more from him in future *watching this space*

Liquid deep

Another South African duo, who have brightened the scene in vocal house music. Bringing us tracks like “Fairy tale”, “Settle for less”, but my all time favourite track from them is “Still”. They have been bringing us beautiful melodies and we surely wouldn’t mind more J

Nasty Nev

“I’m so hung up on you, every day you’re always on my mind” is the ultimate chemistry song! You know being attracted to someone so much that they’re just all you think about, and in every thought you envision on how they would look next you. I’ve always loved Nast Nav’s somewhat rich, strong voice. He also did awesome tracks like “Hooked on you”….hai this man seems to be falling in love a lot. I really love it when men express emotion through song though!

Christopher mCcray

I’ve actually never heard any of his tracks in the past, so I’ve never really got to appreciate his vocal ability. But when I heard “Heaven”, my soul was sold. If you don’t have any of the above tracks, please try and get this one.  Kerri Chandler produced this song, and it’s one of the “from the heart vocals”. With that one contribution he has made it to my list as one of the greats.

George Levin

The biggest track to come from this Berlin born song writer is “I got- ft Clara Hill”. This song makes my friend Fentse go crazy. Imagine a guy/girl you’re in a relationship with sings these words to you:

“I got, somebody new. Now I got a different view on what we had. Nothing will ever make me reminisce. Cannot think of one thing that I will miss, nothing will ever make me reminisce,  so then the love turned out to be like this”

Hai then you know you just gotta let them go, nje. Finish and klaar

Robert Owens

“Fly Free”, what more can I say? Track 07 in the Ralf Gum #never leaves you album of 2012. You haven’t lived if you haven’t danced to this compilation

Viktor Dupleix

More of an soul musician. His contribution to deep house through his Jazanova collabo with a track called “That Night” is timeless. That song has been somewhat a foundation to a lot of vocal house jams. An absolute classic! Viktor’s voice is one of the most romantic voices around, so he had to make my list! Oh, he also has songs like “Let’s make a baby” J

Totured Soul

These guys’ music is the epitome of awesomeness. I haven’t been touched by house more than I have by Totrured soul music. With tracks like: “Home to you”, ” Enjoy it now”, “I might do something wrong”. My absolute favourite track and it also embodies the list of my all time favourite house tunes is” Don’t hold me down” . It’s a dialogue between couple addressing trust issues when they’re not together. Basically it says “if you believe I love you, you should learn to trust me- don’t hold me down. You say I’m yours , so let me be free”. To listen to these tracks please visit: http://torturedsoulmusic.com/

Kafele

His 2010 track with Ralf Gum “Complicated” is one the future classics of our day. I don’t know how many versions of the track exist out there. Almost every single one I’ve heard I’ve managed to enjoy. Kafele, has this calm, sanitised voice that would pick you out of a storm of emotions to a tranquil place. He brought us tracks, like “Believing”, love it! And my out most favourite from him is in Ralf Gum’s album, #Never leaves you” The song is called “Burning Star”, I’ve listened to this track for a whole 2 weeks non-stop, just me and my Burning star.

Larry Heard

Notoriously known as Mr Fingers or the Price of House music . Was surprised to find out he’s a black dude. He managed to put together my ultimate favourite gospel house track. “Praise”- Larry Heard (Glen underground’s thank you remix) has officially been listed as my all time favourite songs after Summer Daze. Larry has been known for his passionate lyrics and has mastered the art of creating nostalgic chemistry. It goes something like:

“I remember the days when I thought I was alone. And was always amazed in those times I felt so strong. But then you were always there and you have always cared.

No matter how far I stray you have already paved the way. Now when I look back  I can see the things you’ve done. And I want to thank you for my saviour and your Son….and I must give you Praise”

It blesses me so much just to know you’re on my side. And I see your precious touch, in the things before my eyes. You want the best for me and you have been raised for me. Before I was whole you conquered the misery. Now when I look back, I can see the things you’ve done, and I want to Thank you for my saviour and your son. And I will give you PRAISE……….”

If I haven’t mentioned an artist who you believe should be in this post, let us know. Other vocal talent I can mention includes, T-Deep, MiCasa, etc. Hope you enjoyed my vocal showdown and you will make every effort to get them tracks and be merry. At the end of it all it had to be Larry Heard that takes it for me because He is giving thanks to the Almighty.

If you think about it, everything is about Him, for Him, through Him. God created the music we hear, the people who sing those songs and He gave them the talent to do it. Give Thanks!

Let’s try this again: 2013

Ok, 2013 is here. We made it alive, and the world didn’t end, yey!!!  

 

With all the excitement comes a lot of questions; what challenges lie ahead and will they bring out the best or the worst in me? Am I going to make the same mistakes? Which new people will come into my life and which ones do I need to let go of? Who will I fall in love with?  Will I fall in love at all? How will my faith be tested and will I endure those tests? And most of all, where will I be in life this time next year?

 

These are all sobering and soul searching questions that we all have to ask ourselves. I believe in setting New Year’s resolutions because they give you something to look forward to. Even if you fail, at least you would have tried to bring about some sort of change in your life. I always start my year with a bang, making goals and stuff. By the time the energy wears off in March, I would have had the courage to start something which often leaves a positive mark in my life. It is really sad to float through life without any plan or change. We were created to live, not to exist.May this be the best year of your life!

I have never been good in giving self help advice, but I have 3 things I would like to share with you for this year. They are my adopted themes for 2013, hope they help you as much as I’m hoping they will help me.

Pursue your ambitions:  If you have as much as a curious thought about a talent or beautiful idea; pursue it. Often times God lays so much gold within us that we never discover. As you are sitting right now, you are probably using less than 20% of your given talents. You don’t know they exist because you have never explored them. Have you noticed that people who tell you that they have had a passion for music ever since they were young; grow up to be phenomenal musicians?  If these people never pursued this burning desire inside of them, maybe they would have never opened their mouths to even sing a single note and never unearth their wonderful talent.

What I’m trying to say here is that, your spirit has a way of hinting to you what you are good at. If you get that feeling about anything, please try it at least once. It could be a business idea, dancing, drawing, motivating others, etc. I never knew I could write until I wrote my first article!

So this year explore your talents; follow up on your ambitions and see how far it will get you.

Commitment: Once you have discovered what it is that you’re good at/interested in doing, commit to it. Start it and stick to it.

Your commitments can develop you, or they can destroy you, but either way, they will define you. Tell me what you’re committed to, and I’ll tell you what you’ll be in twenty years. It is at this very point of commitment that most people miss God’s purpose for their lives. Many are afraid to commit to anything, so they just drift through life. Others make half-hearted commitments to competing values, and that leads to frustration and mediocrity. Others make a full commitment to worldly goals, such as becoming wealthy or famous, and they end up disappointed and bitter. Every choice we make has eternal consequences, so we need to choose wisely.  Be defined by godly, loving commitments.

Being committed also means being consistent with what you’re doing. It is so easy to start, but so hard to see things through. What about the unmet goals you left in 2012? Would you like to give them a shot again or are you ready to try new things? Even so, have the decency to tie up those loose ends; send that resignation letter or cancel that subscription but just don’t leave things hanging, its bad karma!

And lastly……

Accountability: If you aspire to do something, share that vision with someone who is going to hold you accountable for it. Be careful, though, of whom you share those visions with and who you allow to speak into your life (story for another day). My previous boss used to tell me that if I want to stretch myself into doing something I should tell every person I know. So each time I bump into those people, they will ask me how things are going and I can have positive feedback for them. If you set your goals in secret, it gives you no pressure at all to accomplish them.

I’m not saying go shout out to the world all your plans, but tell someone you trust and who buys into your vision so they can hold you accountable for it. This year I had to choose between studying further and writing my book. I obviously chose to start writing the book (which I already have). And since I was supposed to study and pass, I have to see the book through to completion. With this, I am making the most of my time, so please hold me accountable.

 

So there you have it. Hope you will use these ingredients and many others to be the best you can be. Happy New Year and may 2013 be your best one!

 Yeah people are complaining about going back to work and all. Well, firstly it cannot be December all year, it has to end. Secondly, that car you drive didn’t fall from the sky, you have to work for it. Thirdly, at least you have a job to go back to, some are going back to the vicious cycle of unemployment. And lastly; just take time to think of those who have to repeat a grade this year! So be happy.  Work is part of life because there is a time for everything on earth.

 

All the best and remember; if it doesn’t work, change your formula!!!!