A word of advice…

I received this e-mail from 6 different people in the past week. Clearly the message is interesting to the people in my immediate reach. So I think it’s best I share it with everyone else.

This is from a seminar by sister Zanele Mbokazi and she’s sharing wisdom on relationships and self love. But most  importantly, she’s reminding us to always trust in God and be PATIENT on his promises. He will give us the desires of our hearts, in his time. Enjoy…

GOD:
Put your faith in God always
The power of walking with God is to fix/lock your eyes on Christ
God loves you unconditionally and has great plans for your life 
 
Family:
Appreciate and love your family while they are still alive (mother, father, sisters, brothers, cousins etc)
Forgive-don’t stay angry for weeks, months sometimes years without speaking to a family member- should
They leave this earth before you-you will not have peace 
 
Friends:
Delete friends that don’t add value to your life
A true friend will not defend you when you are wrong
A true friend will protect you when you are not there
A true friend will not humiliate you
A true friend will applaud you when you succeed
A true friend will tell you what you need to hear NOT Necessarily what you want to hear
A true friend will not mislead you
A true friend will rejoice in your happiness and comfort you
When you are in pain. 
 
Career:
Identify things that hinder your success
Have the drive and passion to achieve your goals
“Luck” is where opportunity meets preparedness
 Don’t look for overnight success-have patience
In due season you will reap your rewards
Take action! 
 
Single Ladies
There is NOTHING wrong with being single
Don’t be too desperate to meet a man
Don’t succumb to pressure that you must get married
Beware of false prophesies and visionaries
Find your relationship in God
Empower yourself – e.g.attend seminars that build your character, find good social circles, and look good (if you look good you feel great)
Stay away from married men, don’t destroy marriages
Don’t settle for less-God will send you a good man when
The time is right 
 
Good Men:
Change your belief system-“wonke amadoda ayafana-that’s NOT true”
A good man treats you well-he shows you his love, he appreciates you
A good man-admits it when he is wrong/hurts you and genuinely apologizes (doesn’t deliberately do the same wrong thing over and over and over again)
A good man- respects you and respects women
A good man-is independent, not clingy and possessive (spends some of his time with his friends, family)
A good man-allows you to spend time with your friends and family
A good man- is a hard worker and a provider
A good man-that has children from a previous relationship is firm and sets boundaries for the baby mama-he will not let her harass, undermine or threaten you
BUT he still takes care of those children and does not neglect his fatherly responsibilities
A good man is –not perfect (neither are YOU), he has strengths and weaknesses BUT he does not deliberately hurt you/do wrong things 
 
Good Women-In Good Marriages/ Relationships:
A good woman-respects her husband and respects herself
A good woman-loves and appreciates her husband
A good woman-knows that her husband is the head and does not compete with him
A good woman-submits to her husband
A good woman is not insecure-she knows who she is, she is content, confident and knows her WORTH
A good woman does not lose her identity in marriage-she continues to pursue her goals/dreams, she does not give up her hobbies, she empowers herself etc
A good woman is not clingy and possessive-she HAS A LIFE-makes time for friends and family –she maintains that BALANCE
A good woman-takes good care of herself- look good, whatever the shape, height, size etc-be the best YOU that YOU can be
A good woman is financially independent-she understands that the man is the provider and he needs to play that role however she does not financially abuse him,
 She also spends her own money
A good woman-practices “kneeology”-she prays for her marriage.
 
Good relationships/marriages also have challenges (ups and downs) BUT DO NOT justify abuse and call it a challenge-there’s a difference

A relationship is bad when: 
 He physically abuses you-hits you etc
 He financially abuses you-Doesn’t want you to spend your own money, complains if you spend for your family, borrows your money and doesn’t pay you back
He is an emotional and verbal abuser-good around other people, a monster when you are alone; calls you derogative names, plays with your mind and makes you
Feel guilty-you end up apologizing even if you are not wrong; abuses you then gives you money or buys you gifts, destroys your self confidence and self esteem
He is the opposite of a good man mentioned above
 
DO NOT STAY IN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIPS-IT’S NOT WORTH IT
LADIES-YOU CANNOT CHANGE A PERSON
DO NOT STAY IN A RELATIONSHIP BECAUSE HIS FAMILY “LIKES” YOU
WHEN IT’S OVER-LET IT GO/LEAVE
MARRIAGE WILL NOT CHANGE AN ABUSER IF HE ABUSED YOU BEFORE MARRIAGE/HE WILL CONTINUE TO ABUSE YOU IN MARRIAGE 
 
CONCLUSION
Ladies we are wonderfully and fearfully made in the image of the Most High God
Let us love ourselves and know our worth
“FOREVER” is a very long time to spend it with someone that does not appreciate you

Be my friend…

One person could never be everything to you, which is why God blesses us with so many different people in our lives. Friendships are one of the things that make life meaningful. Things you would not tell your parents or husband/wife, you would normally share with your friends. It depends which one though.  That is why every friend is unique in their own way and they are there to add their own special flavor in your life. You also add your own to theirs. I don’t  know who the author of the poem below is, but it sure says a lot about the unique attachment I have with each of my friends.

 

 

 

 

 

 

When I was little,
I used to believe in the concept of one best friend,
And then I started to become a woman.
And then I found out that if you allow your heart to open up,God would show you the best in many friends.

One friend is needed when you’re going through things with your man.
Another friend is needed when you’re going through things with your mom.
Another will sit beside you in the bleachers as you delight in your children and their activities.
Another when you want to shop, share, heal, hurt, joke, or just be.
One friend will say, ‘Let’s cry together,’
Another , ‘Let’s fight together,’
Another , ‘Let’s walk away together.

One friend will meet your spiritual need,
Another your shoe fetish,
Another your love for movies,
Another will be with you in your season of confusion,
Another will be your clarifier,
Another the wind beneath your wings.

But whatever their assignment in your life,
On whatever the occasion,
On whatever the day,
Or wherever you need them to meet you with their gym shoes on and hair pulled back,
Or to hold you back from making a complete fool of yourself .
Those are your best friends.

It may all be wrapped up in one woman, But for many, it’s wrapped up in several.
One from 7th grade,
One from high school,
Several from the college years,
A couple from old jobs,
On some days your mother,
On some days your neighbor,
On others, your sisters,
And on some days, your daughters.

Very interesting, hey? With all of this said, I would like to take the time to honor the beautiful ladies that have contributed into helping me be the wonderful woman I am today. I met them in different spaces in time, different seasons and places but I thank God that our paths did cross. In no particular order, I honor my closest bosoms.

Nqobile, I have a blog because of you my friend. You taught me how to be a lady, always forcing me to wear earrings and not wear my Jack Parcels at work. You are beauty Mama. Merwe, oh my dear, you’re such a loyal soul. I remember we used to share a bath when we were still primary school, you have not changed a bit and I know you’d still do the same even today. I hold you very close. MaBhengu & Mamchunu, ey guys my most fond teenage memories were with you, Sne you taught me how to take risks in life and regret nothing.

Fenni, your flamboyant spirit is such an inspiration; you’ve  taught me that impossible is nothing. A laugh is always around when you are near. Keep shining. Nolokies, you laugh at all of my jokes, even the terrible ones, lol. You taught me that in life we receive what we give thus we should always give the best of ourselves and try to stand out from the crowd as much as we can. Your conservative and motherly nature are shaping me to be an amazing mother someday. Dankie sweery. Kebu, *sigh* you my dear, are the older sister I never had. I’ve never met a person who delights in who I am such as you. Your guidance and prayers are bearing eminent fruit in my life. You see me through my father’s eyes and that makes you ultra special, mcwah!

Mizet, God is taking you to such great heights it will scare you. I feel privileged to be part of your life story. Ambition and confidence are the best words to describe you. Your laugh is classic, no one does it like you, wa gaga. Muni, our friendship is still young and yet I’ve learnt so much from you. You are so good for my self esteem, it’s unbelievable. May God honor the desires of your heart. Sis’ V, you’re my spiritual mother. Thanks for listening to all my stories and praying with me. And yes I do enjoy watching cartoons with you.

Sisi, oh how sweet you are sthandwa sami. Forgiveness and a beautiful smile describe you. Don’t let this big bad world take that away from you. Love you long time. Noluvuyo, your prayers over my life don’t go unnoticed. Hawa, you’ve been such a pillar of strength when I needed you and I pray that I am also strong for you when you need me. Glodean, my prayer warrior! You know I’m your flock, right? Your obedience to God’s word is out of this world, your encouragement and words of wisdom go a long way. Nosipho, my darling Shomi. You have taught me to find humor in every situation, good or bad. A lot of my smiles are owed to you. Pabi, your playful and pure spirit also put a smile on my face. God will grow us, you’ll see.

Tsholos aaah ngwana. You are a miracle waiting to happen. I wouldn’t have asked for a better little sister in this whole world. You make me feel like majesty with your adoration. Each step I take in life is thoroughly calculated because I know you will follow, that’s how much you look up to me. I hope I haven’t done you an injustice thus far. Keep loving God and others as you do, only you can do it that way. Last but not least; Snookie, *deep sigh* I have learnt a whole world in the 7 years that I have known you. Your gentle spirit and generous heart are your special gift to the world. No one is as humble and calm as you are. Yeah life gets rough, but you have glided through it gracefully. Embrace the nurturing gift God has given you. People trust you with their hearts and you need to trust God with yours. If I was a guy, I would surely declare you my better half. Jah bless mi Empress.

There are so many other beautiful souls worth mentioning, but trust me, every person in my life is here to teach me something about myself and life. Oh, almost forgot to mention my bestest best friend in the whole wide world. Jesus, you are so beautiful to me. When my ladies are caught up in their own troubles, you are there listening and guiding me. When I feel lonely, you fill me with your love and reassure of me of my Father’s beautiful promises over my life. You gave life, so I could live. You are there when I take a long walk alone or waking up from a nightmare, you have counted every tear and endorsed every smile. You are my everything. Please be best friends with my friends too, and every night I pray that I impart at least a little bit of the joy you bring to my life into theirs. I absolutely adore you and thank you for delighting in who I am. Not once have you judged me and I don’t remember us having a fight. You are the coolest of them all!

Which friendships do you wish you could mend? And which ones are you glad you let go of? As we grow, our friends grow, we change and they change too. Value the friendships you have and invest less in the unhealthy ones. Because, if you show me your friends I will tell you who you are.

PS: to the ones I lost contact with: Tlalane Mokhele & Ntombizonke Mavuso, Thando loves you bo dali.

Follow the Leader….

 

 

Funny how things can take a quick turn in the opposite direction, hey? The cartoon above reminds of an era, not so long ago when our infamous youth leader was up in arms, adamant to protect Mr Zuma with all he has. Last week it was very interesting to hear him being quoted saying “I do not have a personal relationship with President Zuma, and I don’t want one”. Chineke! Zashintsha izinto.

The topic on everyone’s lips is about the current disciplinary action that the President of the ANC youth league and his allies are facing. All eyes are on the ANC leadership on how this matter will be concluded, with special consideration to the violent protests we witnessed outside Luthuli House on Tuesday.

Speaking, of which. I find it very, very interesting how unemployed people can afford travel fees and all to come to Joziburg just for a day to prove a point. Ok, maybe I’m taking a calculated guess by saying they are unemployed, but really now how can so many people obtain leave for 2 days in the middle of the week, just like that? It would also make sense that the majority of the crowd were students, which, in my view  is even more sad. Going back to my fascination about this rowdy crowd that spent +- R400 on travel each (honestly, I doubt they paid for it themselves. Another calculated guess) coming to Luthuli house with the “appropriate” t-shirts to burn and enough commotion to catch the attention of the whole country. Not so long ago, the same crowd was burning t-shirts with the face of former President Mbeki, and now all of sudden Zuma and Vavi are being burnt. What a clever crowd this is, don’t you think? Oh, they also had catering services for the protest. During the strike, all of them were served food, I mean all of them. Hai these people are really smart and loaded. Unless of course they were organized to act in such a manner, while all their natural needs are met. I honestly think Mr Malema has a “rent a crowd” business on the side. This then strongly dilutes the definition of the “people on the ground” or the “masses” that support him so much. He got them for Zuma, and now he needs them for his own personal account.

The spotlight is now on the ANC as to what the outcome of this trial will be. Bear in mind that last year Mr Malema stood before the same committee and was warned that should he be found guilty again on a similar charge, his ANC membership will be revoked. So a lot is at stake here for Jub,s and I doubt he will take this lying down (which he clearly isn’t). The ANC also stands a lot to lose as well should things go in Malema’s favor. Its reputation as the ruling party will be tarnished even further and they will never be able to control this load mouthed beast they have created. Support for the party is also at stake because most South Africans are utterly unimpressed with the recent occurrences. And most importantly the Tripod alliance with Cosatu is largely at stake. The unions have such a massive following, much bigger than the Limpopo crowd that can be delivered in 5 buses. It’s high time the ANC redeemed themselves.

So convenient that JZ is out of the country in the midst of all of this. I wonder what his view on the matter is, don’t you? Well me thinks, since he’s President now, what does he need Julius for anyways?  Oh, maybe he might just need him to keep a few secrets? (Another calculated guess).  Most probably he’s also fed up with this commotion and with succession issues ahead of the elective conference coming up, he really needs as little noise as possible. Most importantly he needs to gain the affection of the masses, whether he hopes to attain that by ousting Malema or keeping him is anyone’s guess.

Judging by the progress of this DC hearing, it doesn’t look like things are all going against Mr Malema. On Wednesday, his legal team successfully forced Gwede Mantashe to swallow his words for announcing that the venue for the hearing will be moved out of the CBD. Hmmmm, interesting. The hearing was also put on hold after they had requested that all the charges laid against the Youth League be dropped due to proper procedures not being followed in laying them. The ANC needed a whole day to deliberate on that, and will only resume on Friday, declaring whether they will drop them or not. Fascinating.

Other tactics have been brought forward by Juju, such as, requesting that some members of the ANC disciplinary committee recuse themselves for being biased against hiom. This was obviously unsuccessful. Another “strategy” was auctioned about a week ago, when Mr Malema requested that investigations on the arms deal be reopened. Hawu, why the sudden interest now? All these years he wasn’t bothered by it, why now? You see my assumption is that the ANC fears Malema because he knows so much about the inner workings of the party and could easily play these cards against them to protect his own political career.

This reminds an analogy of a criminal who has been running away from the cops for most of his life. One day it happens that he is arrested. That very first night he spends in his cell, gives him the most peaceful sleep he has ever had. He does not have to jump and hide each time he hears a siren or sees a cop car. Same goes with the ANC, perhaps they could allow certain beans to be spilt (e.g Arms deal, etc) so they could get rid off such a liability as Malema. But then I guess in politics nothing is ever that simple. Friday, 2 September, we shall hear.

I’m sure former President Thabo Mbeki is thoroughly entertained by all this commotion. Not because he enjoys seeing the party in disrepute, but by the fact that it’s always a pleasure watching Karma do what she does best. Interesting times we live in, neh?

Zuma: Asseblief come back. Norway is not your home-o *nigerian accent*

 

Love you First

This is an exctract from a book by LJ Ford called “Wear Yes”. Most of us have been through such situations without even knowing it. Some experiences were from long term relationships and even the shortest ones ever. Where you know someone is not good for you, yet you hang on for dear life to the relationship. Unhealthy. The scene/tone is by a lady, but I know guys have also been through such experiences as these. They also fall in love, ok…..

 (As she works her hair in the mirror a voice of reason begins to speak to her…)

You’re addicted to a bad relationship and a terrible “partner”… This addiction is no different from any other drug, in the sense that 95% of it is killing you, but the 5% that remains has to firm a grasp on you for you to let go. With narcotics that 5% may be a high or psychedelic illusions, while in relationships it too can be illusions, illusions of this person loving you the way you desire, appreciating you the way you deserve, or the relationship going back to the way it was in the beginning.

(Her eyes sadden a bit. Since when, she wondered, did all of this become such a burden on my heart. Why me? She asks herself)

Addiction, over time, always becomes apparent, Your family knows it, your friends know it, and they are all trying to tell you, but it doesn’t matter, because even worse, you know it. You see the damage it’s doing, physically, mentally, spiritually, and emotionally.  You know this addiction is weighing you down, you know it’s holding you back, you know it’s drowning you, you’ve given so much with little in return that you’re nearly bankrupt, and if you bend anymore you’re certain to be broken. But you’ll do it, because you’re addicted, and to the wrong kind of drug.

All addictions aren’t created equal, and all addictions are not bad. But a relationship is supposed to provide nutrients, well being, positivity, encouragement, laughter, trust, true love, and those things which you may lack. But this drug, Is killing you. Time is passing, and you know you are wasting it, your heart is being battered beyond recognition, you wear your smile beautifully during the day yet you stain your pillows with tears at night, life is being drained from you, and you couldn’t be further from God and what he meant for you to be.

You’re giving all you have to a relationship that you know has no pulse, and a person that continually proves to you that they couldn’t care less. The more you give to this person, who doesn’t deserve it, who abuses it, who takes it for granted, the less you have to give the one you were meant for. Still, while this drug eats at you like a cancer with endless appetite, you can’t stop using, you’ve become a junky. You’ve taken so much pain that you have became accustom to it, you’ve become so accustomed to it that you become numb to it, and finally, you’ve become so numb to it, that you now love it. You have to, what other rational explanation could there be to do this to yourself. You know it’s killing you, but you can’t stop because you’re addicted, and to the worse type of drug. The kind infects the most intelligent of minds, darkens the brightest of hearts, and carves a cavity in fullest souls.

(She stops while the feeling of a flood of tears rushes from her core to her eyelids, but her face remains dry. She’s all cried out, and that hurts even worse)

You can’t leave because you don’t love yourself. You can’t, because if you did, would you allow yourself to go through this? Or maybe you do love yourself, but what do you love more, you, or the person that carelessly holds your beating heart in the palms of their hands.

“I do love myself” she utters, now looking down.

That’s impossible, you can’t even sell that lie to yourself much less the person in the mirror, because if you loved yourself more, you would snatch your heart away before he drops it again, or has another spasm of the hand and squeezes it until it bursts. Look up into the mirror. How can you allow the person that you see, the one whom you claim to love go through so much unnecessary pain? why do you have such a tight hold on such heavy weights. why are you allowing yourself to be robbed of all of the great things you have to offer the one that deserves it? Can u really look at your reflection and tell the person you see that you love her? Can you?

(With a subtle notion she shakes her head from side to side)

Of course not, but your yesterday doesn’t have to dictate today and tomorrow, what you have been through doesn’t have to be the determining factor on what you will go through tomorrow. And no you can’t change the past but you can positively affect your own future. You can regain that self-love.

Look around you…  behind you… now back at your reflection. There is nobody there but you, no family, no friends, not even your so-called partner, only you can put an end to this because only you are responsible for your own happiness. You know it’s not going to be easy, in fact you are in fear of the taking on the task of freeing yourself from this drug, however, if you can’t love yourself enough to give you what you deserve, happiness, who can? Better yet,

…who will?

Wear YES on your HEART and Love yourself More

Finding my Hero

So I don’t know who Amy Winehouse was, but at least I know who Buju Banton is. I’m sure a lot of Africans identify with me. Ragga and Dancehall are a big element in African music, but it’s unfortunate that in SA there’s a certain stigma attached to listening to it. People think you’re either, rastafari or you smoke weed or you’re just weird if you listen to it, and yet they forget that it is just another genre of music like Kwaito is. The problem arose during apartheid when this kind of music was banned in SA, don’t you ever wonder why Lucky Dube was huge in every other country except his own?

Ok, enough history. I’m sure you all know the song by UB40 called “red, red wine” and if you know Sean Paul’s song “Like glue” you’ll notice they have same beat. Also this famous Brick & Lace song “Love is wicked” has the same beat even the“Na na go so” (proncounced nok-nokoso) tune has that same beat. Well that’s how Ragga is done, that same beat on all these songs is called a “Riddim”. So a producer will come with a killer beat and every musician, old or new, comes with their own interpretation to that riddim. A riddim basically never dies, look at the Diwali Riddim, UB40 hit in the 90’s and Sean Paul did it again after Y2k.

I’ll be reviewing some of my favorite Riddims and also mentioning which artist interprets it best for me. It’s unfortunate that I cannot load sound clips here, it would have been easier for people who are not familiar with them. You can go to www.soundcloud.com and listen them if you’re really curious.

I will not be reviewing the Season’s Riddim because it’s my outmost best Riddim. Sean Paul did that “Never gonna be the same” tune. Fantan Moja also “Gave thanks and Praise” on it. Vybez Kartel, Ja Cure and Elaine also hooked up awesome interpretations (this is only to mention a few). I love almost every track from the Seasons Riddim so it would be really unfair on the other Riddims nje.

5.  Mission Riddim

This is the Riddim from which Mavado did “Im on the Rock”. It’s a great chanting riddim. My best interepretation is by Damien Marley with the track “Listen” where “the race is not just for the swift, but those who can endure” lyrical genius I tell you

4.  Nylon Riddim

Made famous by Sizzla Kalonji’s “Chilling in Chile”. My most favourite, favourite tune from the Nylon Riddim is by Busy Signal “Trading Places”. It goes something like “Imagine uptown people living in the Ghetto for a week. It wouldn’t be easy, trading places with the ghetto”. It basically says if you’re privileged you should never look down on someone oqhamuka ekasi coz you could never endure their hardships. Respect them because their will power is far stronger than yours.

 3.  Miracle Riddim

Again Ja Cure does interpret it nicely  with“Two way street”, Vybez Kartel also threw in “Bayblon Life” but number one for me is Richie Spice with “Eyes don’t see”. Shoo, jah that song engulfs me with deeeeeeep feelings of merriment :-). Fantan Moja with “I will survive” adds even more light to this riddim.

2.  Bad People Riddim

Ey, I could never get enough of this one. Mavado killed it with “Gyal a mad ova”, again another chanting riddim for me. My bestest interpretation comes from Flexx “Hav wah me want”. Frisco Kid also hooked up some rhymes on it, another awesome track is “Kibaki”. Bless

1.5.  Riddim Driven

Mavado literally owns this riddim. His 3 interpretations that I know off are killer, these being; “Hope and Pray”, “Love dem” and “House Top”. This is my most favorite riddim to dance to ever, real dancehall style. Other tracks such as “Anything goes” and “Bicycle” also tickle my fancy

1 City Life Riddim

This is currently the best riddim for me right now, not a single day goes by without me listening to it. My bbm contacts are probably over it coz I update on it njalo nje. Rihhana did the “Man down” track (in her latest album) from this riddim. Tony Rebel, Sean Paul, Elephant man also put some rhymes for this riddim but I only have two favorite interpretations. These are by Assassin “Something’s Gotta Give” talking about the destruction this concrete jungle is causing to our lives and environment.

The other one is by Queen iAfrica “Times like these” which is my favourite song at the moment. It goes something like “Its times like these when I miss our heroes. In times like these I really wish that they were around”. I can relate to this song so much, you know there are certain times when you wish your hero was around, when you see people getting out of control forgetting how hard someone worked for them to be where they are. Look at our fight for freedom in SA and how some young leaders are undermining that legacy.

My dad was my biggest hero, and when I see some of my siblings acting a fool, making bad decisions and trashing his legacy, those are the times when I wish my hero would come back. I know he would sort out that mess and put everyone in their place; he always knew what to do and had a plan. Funny enough the times when I wish my hero was around most would be when I did well. My dad used to applaud every good stride I made, no matter how small and how I wish he could see the success I have made of myself today. So each time something good happens to me, its times like those I wish my daddywas around.

Who is your hero and at what times do you wish they were around? For some people it’s their dads, mom’s, siblings or even their spouses. It feels good to have a place of refuge from someone who has your best interests at heart. But the biggest problems with our heroes is that they are not perfect, they sometimes have bad moods, make bad decisions and even die!

That is why I have decided to have the Lord as my hero. Whose love is unchanging and never falls into a bad mood. A perfect hero who is always around and has even conquered death, Im assured that nothing will ever come between me and his love. When something bad happens, He knows exactly what to do to fix the situation and make me feel better. When I do well, He is the first one to clap hands for me, even when others didn’t notice that good. Have God as your hero and see how many battles you will conquer. For blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord and leans not on his own understanding.

At this time I know my hero is applauding me with a big smile and it’s so comforting to know that nothing will take him away from me. Embrace your perfect Hero today and see if He ever lets you down. Jah Bless.

A young Black woman’s guide to Survival

 

 

 

 

 

 

Written by: Dana Orr

10. BE SELECTIVE IN FRIENDSHIPS.

Friendship is not charity, it’s a give-and-take relationship. Your friends should be people you love, admire and respect. Don’t be afraid to expand, or change your circle of friends. As you get older, you may head in a different direction than those you once considered your ‘best friends forever’. As you evolve and mature, you may grow apart from friends who no longer fulfill you – it’s ok! Hold this person in your heart, but be true to yourself when devoting time, energy and emotion to anyone you seriously consider a ‘friend’.

9. RE-INVENT YOURSELF WHEN NECESSARY.

Self-reinvention is a way to constantly reflect and assess your goals and priorities in your personal, academic and professional life. The concept of self-reinvention allows you to reconsider your lifestyle and, at any given moment, change a particular course of action. The beauty of this process is that you don’t have to beat yourself up about behavior you consider undesirable. You should actually feel great that you have enough sense to realize the error of your ways (whatever they may be), and can spontaneously commit to change. Congratulations – you just solved a problem!

8. PROTECT YOURSELF.

HIV/AIDS is the #1 killer of black women ages 19-27. You are not corny or lame if you insist on an HIV test before having sex with someone. In fact, you’re stupid to give up responsibility for your health and put your life in someone else’s hands. Please DO NOT FALL FOR the age-old trick: ‘Look at me – what am I supposed to do now?!’ All men masturbate. Politely tell your partner that he should focus on ‘self- love’ until you’re certain that he deserves to enter your temple.

7. JEALOUSY IS A WASTED EMOTION.

People who love themselves and recognize their worth are unable to be jealous of others. Why? You should be so preoccupied with loving yourself and changing what you don’t like, you have no time to worry about what others are doing. Being jealous of someone is a waste of energy. You cannot control other people and the choices they make, or the luck they have. Weak people let other’s circumstances affect their self-love and/or self-worth. Resist the temptation to be envious, as it will get you nowhere. If anything, let other people motivate you to achieve certain goals for yourself.

6. CARRY YOURSELF LIKE A LADY.

Embrace that which makes you a woman, and by all means, take advantage of the privileges that we have. Force men around you to treat you with the respect they would their mother, aunt or sister. Insist that your doors be opened for you, order your food first in a restaurant, and sit in the front seat if you are the only female in the car. There is nothing wrong with being ‘pleasantly demanding’. Along with the privilege of womanhood comes a certain responsibility. Being a true ‘lady’ means you exhibit manners that would make your grandmother proud, your clothes are tasteful and appropriate for your age, and your hair and nails are always clean. These little things make a big difference I n how you are viewed by outsiders, and the quality of men that you attract.

5. KEEP UP WITH CURRENT EVENTS.

Staying in touch with what’s going on in the world is very important. Not only is it important to be aware of national and global issues, it makes you a lot more interesting to others because you always have something to talk about. It doesn’t take much to watch the news, read the newspaper online, or buy an issue of TIME magazine or Newsweek. Don’t forget – parents and teachers are a great source of information on current events, and would love to have a conversation with you about something ‘serious’.

4. Travel.

Do you have a passport? If not, get one. Before you are saddled with the responsibilities of a job and a family, take advantage of your freedom and travel. Instead of buying a new outfit, buy a plane ticket. See other parts of the world and observe other cultures. More importantly, have fun! Plan a trip with a friend to a social event in another city, a beach on an island, or a city in a foreign country. Capture your memories with photos or in a diary (or a blog). You will cherish them forever.

3. Be Proud To Be Black.

Black culture and heritage is based on strength, perseverance, and rich talents. You should have an overwhelming sense of cultural pride – as black people, we are so very special. Don’t EVER feel as if you aren’t equal to another person simply because you’re black. If you have any question as to the importance of black people to our society, or how smart, beautiful, talented, funny and fascinating we are, start reading. Watch old movies. Read plays. Go see plays. Buy tickets for dance and musical performances. Seek opportunities to study academic topics involving, or related to, black people. Talk to your relatives that lived through some of the historical events you’ve heard about. Get on the Internet and study people with whom you’re familiar. Keep in mind, black pride doesn’t mean exclusion of others. It is most impressive when you seek to educate other cultures about the beauty and greatness of being black.

2. Have a Cause.

As long as you’re here, it is your duty as a human being to help make the world a better place. Let your natural talents and passion lead you to an issue that keeps your attention, and to which you can commit your time and money. Get involved with groups that already exist. If your particular cause is new or unique, start your own group and make your friends join. Helping others is an easy way to feel good about yourself, and invest in the future of your community.

1. Love Yourself

This is #1 and most important, yet challenging, mission to accomplish. Self-love is critical to survival at any age, and may be quite a personal journey. Loving yourself means recognizing, developing and honouring a sense of self-worth. Loving yourself means you have zero tolerance for anyone or anything that doesn’t love you and respect you. Loving yourself also means you must treat yourself well, simply because no one else will do it for you.

Celebrating Women’s Month

 

A bit of background on Mokgotsi.

A couple of smart ladies started an empowerment initiative in January this year named  Mokgotsi Women and their main purpose is to empower women.  Helping them to set and achieve goals beyond their expectations by exposing them with our monthly events to the business world, entrepreneurial opportunities, leisure activities and most important to give back to young women in our mentorship program. In all this they want to create a positive environment. Encouraging ownership of one’s own life and health. Allowing women to believe that this too is possible!

They currently run events on the first Saturday of every month. All their events are centered on exposing women to different ways of becoming independent, taking ownership, empowering, developing themselves, allowing networking and creating wealth in process

You can like their facebook page:  Mokgotsi Women or visit their website www.mokgotsi.co.za (see link below)

Mokgotsi is member driven. They have a fee of R100.00 for registration and you will get a goodie bag to the same value.  As a proud Mokgotsi Memember I will publish all the interesting events that Mokgotsi has to offer, so you are not kept in the dark.

For registration enquiries, please contact: Zandra Habana on 082 515 3501 zandra@mokgotsi.co.za

 

Here’s another Great event you can attend should you miss the 9th August festivities.

This event is driven by a vision of God fearing women who want to express the mandate of empowering and unleashing the potential that God place within each one of us.

A Birthed in love and inspired by truth, The Unleashed Woman Conference promises to be a day where we will be reminded of God’s love and purposes for us, His gorgeous daughters.

The Unleashed Woman Conference is about challenging us as women to step out and step up into the fullness of what we’ve been called to; in whatever sphere of influence we operate in. 

Our dynamic speakers Bonnie Henna and Alex Harris, will share with us on how God made and still makes the difference in their lives and how they wilfully confront life from a place of victory as they pursue their destinies.

Come enjoy a day of the unedited truth of God’s word, a time of authentic connecting with ladies from all walks of life, some pampering and relaxing treats, a variety of light eats and lots of giveaways.

Arise, Daughter – Arise, for your light has come!

Please RSVP as soon as you can because seats are limited.

To register,
Log on to http://unleashedwoman.doattend.com/
Under ‘Tickets’, go to drop-down box and select the number of tickets you would like to purchase
Click on ‘Register’
Fill in your details

For registration enquiries, please contact Unathi Mbonambi 082 696 2922 theunleashed.woman@gmail.com

 

 

Exercising Faith

 

Faith, like a muscle needs to be exercised. It cannot be strong just by being acknowledged, it needs to be tested, refined and grown. You cannot say you’re a person of faith purely by declaring it to others. Then it means everyone who can speak has faith. The same way you train your muscle to be fit, is the same way you need to train the skill of trusting.

Trust ne. Who? Or what you ask?

Think of something you really, really wanted to do when you were a teenager. You prayed, begged, trusted and pleaded but it just never happened. For some it’s getting a gold tooth or a tattoo. When you look back now, aren’t you glad that you never got it? This once led me to a prayer to thank God that I’m glad He doesn’t always give me everything I ask for, shoo. So when you look back you realize that it even though you practiced faith in asking God for your gold tooth and never got, it was for the best that it never came. He knew that; 5 years down the line it won’t be the best highlight in your life. This way you understood that God always knows why He never opens certain doors for you, all because He knows what’s best for you.

It’s nice making that realization now, about those situations that you felt so let down by. But what happens when you encounter a disappointment today. Do you look at it in the same light? Do you accept the fact that it is all for your greater good (just like that tattoo) or do you feel out of control, disheartened and don’t see the point to trust?

Well that is when you need to put your running shoes and start exercising! Just like any other training session, after the first day the muscle is stiff and painful (you somewhat regret exercising). You go back to the gym the next day to release that tension and exercise a little bit more, your muscle gets used to it and doesn’t become as sore as yesterday. The more you go on, the stronger it becomes.

Likewise, when you have trusted so much and was disappointed, the impact is so overwhelming and discouraging. Especially after you have planned and worked out how you anticipate how things should have been. But then disappointment stares you in the face. This is when you need to start training the skill of TRUSTING, that everything will work out for the best. You just need to trust a little bit more each day. You’re not sure, when on how, but you know that your moment will come and your faith rewarded.

Faithless people are even afraid to dream. Yes, they just don’t see how their ambitions can come true. Their immediate situations would never materialize into those dreams, then why should they even bother having them?  Well, unfortunately people forget that faith is the substance of things unseen but hoped for. So by just having a dream about your life, you’re exercising faith.

Another element of exercising faith is stepping out into it. For the bible says that “faith without action is dead” it’s the same as saying “hai, I have faith that the Lord will provide food for those poor kids” but when the Salvation Army knocks on your door, you offer them nothing. I’m just making a hypothetical example, but there are so many instance where we know that opportunities are ripe for us to shine, but we are never brave enough to take that leap of faith and risk failing. In these instances it always helps to remind yourself who is your biggest audience. Who are you trying to impress with your acts of faith? Is it you, your friends, family or God?

Our human nature tends 2 be a selfish 1…. Me, me, me.  I‘ve been disappointed, It’s unfair that things didn’t work out for ME as I planned. Where is God in your planning? Have you ever consulted Him before you birthed a certain idea? Did you get the green light from Him saying “yes this is the way to go”? Trusting ties in with SUBMISSION, which is in fact an act of obedience… ugly words yeah? You see if God is at the centre of your decisions exercising faith is so much easier because you quickly realize that His ways and thoughts are higher than yours. We only see as far as tomorrow, whereas He has the BIGGER picture in His sight

God doesn’t ordain bad things in your life so He can have His way. Rather, He delays the opening of small doors for greater ones at the right time which are in line with His plan for your life. He said He will never leave nor forsake you. Believe this everyday and you will be exercising your faith, without even knowing it. And remember that He always has your best interests at heart.

PS: to all those with gold teeth, tattoos, etc, we are all standing in FAITH that they shall be reversed 🙂

 

Nelson Mandela Day 2011

I was privileged enough to visit 2 charities to commemorate this day. I have to say, both were as fulfilling and fruitful to myself and the people I interacted with. I know some people may feel that this Nelson Mandela day thing is being somewhat overplayed, etc, etc. Well I say, if it encourages people who would not normally do good for others (including Corporates with deep pockets), then we can overplay it as much as possible. As long as someone in need is on the receiving end, I’ll continue to support it.

On Sunday me and my Connect group ladies went to visit a Child Haven that is run by our church. They look after orphaned and abused kids between the ages of 2 and 14. It was such a lovely day, and I was introduced to lively, playful and innocent little souls. The pictures say it all.

 

 

 

There’s my little people looking all busy and lively 🙂

On Monday 18 July 2011, we then went to Trinity Soup Kitchen with my collegues to assist in serving homeless people hot soup in the morning (possibly their only hot meal for the day), donating groceries and giving out blankets. This is where I met this “hot dog”, his name is Gereza aka “Hussle”. His owner is the most vibrant and joyful homeless guy Ive ever met. It was an honor to meet that brother. Bless.

 

 

Here’s a preview of some of the things that went down there. I’ll be sure to post more pictures in the gallery.

Oh, happy day 🙂

I did notice a contrast between dealing with kids and adults. But regardless they all have one thing in common: no true sense of belonging. It was heartbreaking to see beautiful children who literally belonged to no one. It was the same case with these homeless adults who have no one to watch their backs. They could be someone’s parents or a breadwinner who left KZN/EC to find a better life eGoli. My point is; always cherish your family and the ones you love, hold them close and appreciate the love they give you. Even if it gets too much, sometimes, just know that someone else would envy half of that attention.

Now we know where Khumbulekhaya comes from. Siyabonga Madiba!

Give a Helping Hand

 

Yes, you saw right. That is a rather blurry picture of Me, looking all busy infront of food.  Lovely goodies, hey? wish I could have some of them, but I couldn’t because it was all for charity.

I’m part of a Transformation Forum where I work and last week we hosted a cake-sale to raise funds for Holy Trinity Soup Kitchen in Yoeville. This is in line with our Mandela Day initiatives. We aim to raise enough funds to donate food for the kitchen and blankets for the destitute who are fed there. On Monday 18 July 2011 we will be helping serve soup at the Church and also give out clothing donated by our teams. *excited*

There is always such a great reward in helping someone out. It may not be a life changing experience for them, but it does make their day, just a little brighter. I think this Mandela Day initiative is great in that it reminds us to be more aware of those unfortunate than we are. It also teaches us not only to give money or “donate to the poor” but it also gives us an opportunity to give our time and experience what exactly do they mean when they say a lot of people in SA are living below the poverty line.

 

What will you be doing on that day? What initiatives have your company planned and are you hoping to be part of it? If not, I urge to step out and be counted. You’ll be suprised at how much the experience will benefit you more than the recepient.

If you don’t know who you can help or how you can get involved. I have included a list of organisations (in and around JHB cbd) you can contact and offer to give, it really doesn’t have to be money, your time will be enough. You don’t have to feel pressured to arrange something for Monday, you can always plan something for another day, because the theme does say: “Make everyday and Mandela Day”

  • The House:  60 Olivia Road Berea, Johannesburg, GautengFor girls between 12 and 18 years only
  • Little Saints of Bethany:  58 Millbourn Road, Bertrams. Reaches out to children on the streets and others in need in the community
  • Meals on Wheels:  69 Mullen Street.  Delivers 200 meals each day to the elderly and disabled
  • Jabulani Khakibos Kids Centre: 1 High Street Berea. For boys who have been on the street 
  • Usindiso Sanctuary: 80 Albert Street Marshalltown. For abused women – especially those with children
  • Ekhaya Overnight Shelter: Corner Quartz and Kotze Streets, Hillbrow. For men and women
  • Mother Teresa Mission (Missionaries of Charity): 76 St George St Bellevue East. For sick men & women, children and care for 400 families in Soweto
  • Place of Refuge: Diagonal Street La Rochelle. Shelter for men and women
  • Salvation Army: Simmonds street, Marshaltown

And the list goes. These are only a few, I’m sure if you search well enough you can find a tousand other charitable organisations in your own area.

“The measure in which you give, so it shall be given to you”

 

 

 

When we were Kids

When I look back at how we grew up, I sometimes laugh at some of the silly situations we used to get ourselves in. Our parents always had interesting ways to discipline us, eish those days were rather hard, but they definitely built character. Let me share a couple of childhood memories, I’m pretty sure most of you will relate.

Remember those days when you would be caught doing something wrong, as a group of kids, like starting a fire or messing up the garden? You all knew you were in trouble and a hiding is the only result of that situation. Well my grandmother would instruct us to go find our own sticks esizoshawa ngazo, eish. You’d deliberate on how you can choose the thinnest, shortest and less painful stick of them all. Then you will all stand in a qeue, with stick in hand, waiting for your turn to get a hiding. And guess what, when your turn comes the stick you chose will be the most painful ever. Mxm, so much for planning ahead!

Eish but the funniest, most painful memory was when I was doing Grade 3 (yes I remember very well). It was Christmas day and my mother asked me to go get her a glass of water. I was rather irritated that even on Christmas day I was given chores. Needless to say, that glass was accidentaly dropped before it got to mom. Hha, I was given the hiding of my life! Not for breaking the glass but for giving her an attitude and not being grateful. She bought me Christmas clothes with a smile and now I’m sulking at her while wearing them. After the hiding I was told to take off the damn Christmas clothes. Tjo, mme O? I spent the rest of the day indoors. Who wants to go play outside on Christmas day with their everyday clothes? Child abuse, this thing 🙁

Another instance where I felt being a kid sucks was when we had those “castor-oil” Saturday mornings. Yuk! Me, my brother and two cousins would be given 3 spoonfuls each, share and orange, have black tea and only eat motogo if we have been to the toilet a certain number of times. We were confined to play close to the house and when one of us disappeared we would definitely know where they went. And oh, you had to count (overall) how many trips you made. Those were the longest days, I tell you.

Oh, also if you ever had chicken pox between the ages of 6 & 12, you lost out on a full week of playing outside. I had mine at grade 5, and I stayed home for a whole week and was only allowed to go outside at sunset, when the tree had shade. I would hopelessly watch other kids play I “chigago” with my gran constantly checking if I haven’t moved. I’ll just be a spectator, covered in calamine, throwing back the balls if  it lands into the yard. And if gran sees that I’m running around in the sun I’ll be summoned to the house kuze kube k’sasa. Another long week 🙁

 Talking about “chigago”. I don’t know what other kasi’s called it but in Soweto when you play this game where you have to build up tin cans, jump over them and then hit them with a tennis ball, we called it such. Those who’ve played it know who awesome it is, especially when you play against kids from the other street. So we’d be playing the hottest game ever, and then my gran would call for me as loudly as she could. Everyone eZondi knew my granny’s voice, so no matter how much I tried to ignore her, other kids would pause playing  bathi “Thando ugogo wakho uyak’biza”. I would run home as quickly as I could, and when I get there gran would say “Shado, please pick up gogo’s R5 coin, it fell under the table”. Eish gogo, I missed out on so much action for a coin? Of course, I would never dare say it a loud, otherwise the Christmas lesson would be revised. Loved her to bits though.

Lastly. This story was shared by a colleague of mine. While in primary school, she and her 2 sisters used to stay with their grandmother during the week and visit their mom on weekends. Mom would fetch them every Friday and bring them back Monday morning. So all they needed while at granny’s house was their school uniform and play clothes for after school. This one Friday, mommy didn’t come fetch them for some reason so they had to spend the entire weekend at grans place. Problem came when they had to go to church, Glo’s gran didn’t play games when it came to church stuff. Everyone goes, full stop. Since they can’t go to church in their play shorts, yep Gogo made them wear their school uniform. All 3 of them looking all bright and lovely in church with their full school uniform, shoes and all! LOLEST!

When I look at all these experiences my heart is filled with so much joy and contentment. I was allowed to enjoy my childhood and yet my character was being built up. I knew that elders were to be respected, like it or not. And for all the hidings I got (as few and far between as they were), I still loved my parents. I’m sure most of us were told to do things outside of our freewill, but we did them anyways because we were taught obedience at an early age, and as children we knew our place.

I wonder what type of kids are we raising today. Children who don’t mind talking back as much as it suits them, who will not even dare stand up for an elderly person in a bus. Instead of playing around outside they are busy with their cell phones and watching soaps at age 9. Some parents fear their kids to the extent that family gatherings and going to church are optional for these kids. Some children even run their households (don’t ask me how).

If you are a parent, just think of how you want to build character in your children. What principles are you instilling in them? Some decisions won’t make you very popular , but if you know it’s in their best interest, make them. Because one day you will be gone and they will have to face this world without you and it’s the things you put in them now that will determine their survival.

Lugotshwa lusemanzi bakwethu. Love them enough….

Power of Association

The less you associate with some people, the more your life will improve. Any time you tolerate mediocrity in others, it increases your mediocrity. An important attribute in successful people is their impatience with negative thinking and negative acting people. As you grow, your associates will change. Some of your friends will not want you to go on. They will want you to stay where they are. Friends that don’t help you climb will want you to crawl. Your friends will stretch your vision or choke your dream. Those that don’t increase you will eventually decrease you.
 
Consider this: Never receive counsel from unproductive people. Never discuss your problems with someone incapable of contributing to the solution, because those who never succeed themselves are always first to tell you how. Not everyone has a right to speak into your life. You are certain to get the worst of the bargain when you exchange ideas with the wrong person. Don’t follow anyone who’s not going anywhere. With some people you spend an evening: with others you invest it. Be careful where you stop to inquire for directions along the road of life. Wise is the person who fortifies his life with the right friendships. If you run with wolves, you will learn how to howl. but, if you associate with eagles, you will learn how to soar to great heights.
 
“A mirror reflects a man’s face, but what he is really like is shown by the kind of friends he chooses.” The simple but true fact of life is that you become like those with whom you closely associate – for the good and the bad.

Note: When God wants to bless you He sends a person in your life. When the devil wants to destroy you, he sends a person in your life. How can we tell the difference? by knowing your people connections. Your success depends on 2 types of people you’ll come into contact with throughout your lifetime:

1.       Those who add and multiply, making you more than you are;

2.       And those who subtract and divide, thereby devaluing you

Never allow people into your life without knowing their agenda. Find out where they come from and why they want to be connected to you. When a person is in your life and your life is declining, they are not a God connection!

A healthy connection will protect your self -worth even when you’re experiencing a season of pain or struggling with a failure in your life. A true God connection will never abandon his assignment until you reach your full potential.

NgesiZulu kuthiwa; “ikhotha eyikhothayo, engay’khothi iy’khahlela umlomo”

Have a blessed weekend.

Girl….You are Beautiful

 

 

 

 

 

 

Girl, just look at you, with your pretty self. You are so beautiful! Not only are you beautiful, but you have the nerve to be talented and gifted by God. Hold your head up Girl and know that you are loved and appreciated. Don’t give the enemy any place to cause you to have low self-esteem or doubt. You are indeed fearfully and wonderfully made. This is your year to decree it and speak it! This is the year of new beginnings. So get your step on Girl, because God is faithful to perform all that He has promised to you!

Be confident in Him and His word. The words you speak from your mouth determine your outcome. Why not speak good and positive things over your life? You are not defeated but rather you are more than

a conqueror. You have been through a lot in your life and look at you now, just as pretty and as strong as ever! Oh, how blessed you are. Look what God has done and look where He has brought you from.

Begin to bless God and praise Him for all that He has done, and for making you so beautiful! He had you in His precious hands all the time. Your life is orchestrated by Him. He knows you and what is best for you. Believe that He has even greater things in store for you and your family. Girl, get over the silly stuff and grab hold of faith. Seek God as never before. Sure, times are hard, but God is Good!

Learn to love who He has made you to be. There is no one like YOU. –Author Unknown

Enjoy the Love of Jesus and Enjoy Life!

From the Classroom into History

The 1976 generation resembled the hebrews

Ready to cross the Red Sea

But Political insanity was their greatest enemy

Towards spreading their black power revoultion across the continent

As a present generation, ur greatest enemy is the spiritual povery within us

Yes, as Africans we have not achieved half of what we fought for

So when we do not honor the generations before us

Not only have be blocked the positive aspirations but also the direction of the upcoming generations

Gross humanity and morality are twin elements shared by our forefathers

The black african millionares, through sober revolution let us bring back the natural balance of creation

And salute the generation of 1976

South Africans the African Sun will shed light on you

For giving birth to a generation that inherited the royal gene of their God

Yes God is African in spirit and existence

The 1976 generation was born from the strongest black seed

Dedicated to true reovolution with an afro-conciousness mindset

Your struggle and bravery was an epitome of African redemption

To the youth of 1976; your determination was an endless stream of tears

That flows into a gulf of inspiration that compels us to learn, live and grow

To the youth of 1976; your african dream was parallel to Nkwame Kruma independence & liberation ideologies

To the youth of 1976; your struggle was a carbon copy of Marcus Garvey & Robet Sobukwe’s black natuionalism

To the youth of 1976;  Africa gave birth to the first sober councious, mindful generations

In solidarity they spoke the dreams of our forefathers, who never saw the light of freedom

Their spirits enviloped, shackled in pains of abject poverty

For centuries Africans toiled over the land of their forefathers, under the burning sun and a foreman’s lash

Indeginous Africans ploughing, planting that a whiteman might roll in ease, their hand unhardened by labor

Their brows moistened by the waters of genial toil

To all blue collar laymen underground toiling the mines through gold mining

And get manipulated in numbers like digital antennas in the cold morning

Worse still they get retrenched while their funds being abused by trade unionists, financing the ruling party

Under the moral sense of mankind and justice down your tools, and revolt at this system of treachery & cruelty

The sober generation of 1976 were a perfect manifestation of the ancient prophecy foretold by Timbaktu inntelectuals

Through their blood, history of mankind was painted by black progress

South Africans are the warm ocean of humanity will spit out reconciliation waves of you

Africa is the cradle of human kind

The genesis of black civilisations stolen to be brought back as technology, to mislead the young generation

Like a well oiled machine, we should board the train of liberation, taking revolutionary medication and tools

Healing Africa from socio economic ills and junk political inclination shared by the foolish heads of states

The youth of 1976 were absolute perfect agents of change, manifesting to that dream and prophecy

Pioneers, revolutionaries, millionairs armed with stones and petrol bombs

Through their bravery, they out an end to the wayward sporadic Antu Education and produced freedom

To the youth of 1976;

Nothing much has changed, people are still living under sub human conditions

I salute those who lost their lives for true democratic liberation

Despite the the complete elimanition and gross destruction of seperate development

As Africans we have been enslaved by our black governement

Who sold our country to neoliberal policy with a legacy of gross inequality

To the youth of 1976;

You should know that Andries Tatane was killed by the gangster police force of the ANC

For exercising his decocratic right to quality service delivery and freedom

Yes as Africans we have not achieved half of what we fought for, and as a continent we do not need foreign aid

But we do need mathemeticians and medical NGO’s across the landscape

We also need legal & civil societies that will take the USA to the international court

From Guantanamo Bay to Iraq invasion gross crimes against hunmanity were commited

To the youth of 1976: I love you

Written by Eddie Mkhatshwa

God doesn’t play Dice

This poem was written by Russell Kelfer some years ago and I just recently bumped into it. This somewhat helped me understand my own short comings, talents, good and bad experiences in life. We all believe that everything happens for a reason, but we struggle to believe that WE happened for a reason! It’s no co-incidence that you are alive in South Africa, at this time in history and you are they way you are.

You are who you are for a reason

You’re part of an intricate plan

You’re a precious and perfect unique design

Called God’s special man or woman

You look like you look for a reason

Our God made no mistake

He knit you together within the womb

You’re just what He wanted to make

The parents you had were the ones he chose

And no matter how you may feel,

They were custom designed with God’s plan in mind

And they bear the Master’s seal

No, that trauma you faced was not easy

And God wept that it hurt you so

But it was allowed to shape your heart

So that into his likeness you’d grow

You are who you are for a reason

You’ve been formed by the Master’s rod

You are who you are, beloved,

Because there is a God

You know, it’s so easy for us to question things in our lives and why we go through the tribulations that we do. Why, me? Why can’t I have it all like some people do? This makes us forget how unique and different we are to everyone else.

God doesn’t play dice, He leaves nothing to chance. Even the unplanned babies are not an accident, and you’re definitely not one. God had a picture of how He wanted you to be, and your parents had the perfect DNA to produce you, and hey there you are.

The hurt and pain is allowed to shape your heart and prepare you for what lies ahead. Never walk through life and envy other’s people’s success or happiness. You do not know the kind of fire their hearts had to go through to shape them. That guy/girl that you envy so much and you wish you were like, you don’t know that maybe they’re a product of abusive parents, utter poverty, dysfunctional families or even destructive personalities. They endured such that they are prepared for the success they are walking in today and your story is entirely different. That is how it was meant to be.

You need to start embracing your own life story and play well with the set of cards you have been dealt with, and only then will you appreciate life and walk in it’s fullness. Because God knows exactly why, he made you light skinned, fat, intelligent, funny, emotional, creative, why your mom is who she is and why you have no other siblings. The talents and the biology He gave you were made especially for you and are more than enough to see you through your purpose in fulfilling the divine plan our God had in mind when He created you.

Human nature in itself has an element of jealousy, that’s just the shortcoming of the flesh we live in. Sometimes you may not feel that you’re being jealous of someone, but you somewhat wish that some of what they had you may also have. It’s an innocent desire, but it’s misdirected because you are desiring what is not yours. Until you learn to appreciate and accept who you are and what you have, you will forever long for something else which may never be fulfilled. And you will never realize that YOU are something great and you are alive to add your own special flavor to the universe. While you’re busy trying to be the salt that you’re not, you will never be that spicy aroma you were designed to be.

“No one knows and understands an invention, better than the inventor himself”

Loving Someone…

I received this as a forwarded email from a friend, I don’t know who the original author is (disclaimer). However, I thought it was a great read to share on the blog.

It speaks to people who are in love relationships, whoever wrote this definately knows their story. For those who are still at the bus stop stop, this will help when you do get involved someday (hope it’s serious, lol). But most importantly, we can apply these principles to our friendships as well. Yes we always think our friends are obliged to love us and we give love to only our romantic relationships, neglecting our friendships. Remember every relationship is a friendship first, be it with your siblings, partner, friends, etc…

In life don’t ever play games.  If you love someone, TELL them… if you don’t… TELL them. The human heart is a very complex thing in that it makes us do the strangest things when it reaches a point of desperation especially when we are hurting.  I’m sure many of us have reached that point where we  find ourselves attacking the competition “In the name of Love” even attacking the object of your affection, some of  us have even found ourselves hiding  behind bushes or tagging the car playing spy.

 At the end of it all, relationships, whether friendships or romance need two  elements to survive- COMMUNICATION and COMPROMISE and it needs another two elements to fall apart – PRIDE and STUPIDITY.

 Too proud to say I’m sorry, too proud to say I’m hurting, too proud to say I’m feeling a little insecure. And so stupid, stupid enough to let them go because you think they will be back, stupid enough not to tell them that you love them because you think they will stick around longer if you play hard to get, stupid enough to not answer their calls when you have a fight because you want to make them hurt and you want to teach them a lesson they’ll never forget. Watch out you are not the one who learns a lesson. If its worth a great person walking out of your life, possibly for good…Then by all means knock yourself out.

 But don’t cry when that person never calls you ever again, or finds solace in another’s arms because the pain you were causing them was too much to bear (stupid but serious)

 Don’t cry when a beautiful relationship is broken and can’t be fixed because YOU chose to play games instead of laying your cards on the table and working it out. Say exactly what you feel and ask exactly what you want to know. No matter how STUPID you sound. At least you will know exactly where you stand.

 And even if after you’ve poured your heart out and it still doesn’t work out, you will be at peace because you know you did your best on your part. Your conscience will be clear and you will move on knowing that you didn’t go down without a fight.

 Loving someone is not a game.

 People are not pyramids. You can’t go off on your own selfish trip and expect to find them in the exact same spot you left them weeks ago. If you don’t take care of your partners’ needs when they need you to, what guarantee do you have that somebody else won’t???

 So when you find your partner in your best friend’s arms or hear they are getting married to someone you had guaranteed was just a “rebound trip” three months after you let them go without a fight…  Don’t cry… Coz while you were busy playing games. Somebody else wasn’t!

 Love without reservations; live without regrets.

 Always know that; Every Saint has a Past and every Sinner has a Future, so there is still hope for you if you haven’t done right 🙂

There is always more to a woman….

God gave the woman’s womb the secret of life, only it can turn a few cells into a full human being. Whichever woman you meet has that blessing and there is always more to her. Think about how you know that your mother is much more stronger than the tribulations she faces, you always know there’s more to her. In that same light you should view every woman you see, from the girl that braids people’s hair on the side of the road, to the one that serves you chips at KFC, the one who sleeps around nalo odlala ama-card all day ekasi. There is always more to them.

The poem below was sent to me by my dear friend Eddie who has always eminated so much respect for me and held me in high regard (which sometimes baffled me but it also encouraged me to value myself more). I remember when we used to go to the Bat Centre, every Thursday while in varsity to listen to poetry and hip-hop rhymes. At that time it was all amusement to me, but God was cultivating the gift he has given to my friend. I consider this as one of his best pieces and I admire the eyes in which a woman is looked at in this poem. And I hope all women see themselves in this light (me included). Enjoy……

There is more to a woman

Some stereotypical ancient writers

From the traditional old-fashioned school of thought

Claimed beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder

But what if the beholder was blind

The truth is beyond that raw attractive body

There is always more to a woman

All that junk sexual illusions

And sexual immorality coupled with the feelings of lustiness aside

There is great individual with rare separate divine qualities

To unify the diverse interest of this junk monetary driven society

From the very street kid and prostitute on the street corner

There is a strong goddess who is just a victim of a dysfunctional community

And paradox of sexual abuse

Yes from birth were given an unjust mode

Of treating and dealing with our sisters

This evil world could mould and shape people according to its unrealistic

Production standards

From the very same shebeen queen

There is a divine goddess from within

A pure African diamond with a heart of gold

Yes there is always more to a woman

This junk evil society was built upon a solid blue-print of prejudice and stereotypes

Yes it is a male dominated society but to all my black sisters

It might be hard to reminisce about the future

Where shadows of ignorance and anxiety are the standard feature of this unethical monetary driven society

There is always more to a woman

You might in hospital losing a battle against hiv-aids or tuberculosis remember there is always more to a woman

She might be a domestic worker but through her great spirits and divine wisdom she could bond

Disjointed families like a social worker she is a domestic worker with a knowledge

To send kids to college

There is always more to a woman…..

Shooo, profound ne? If only everyman could look at the women in their lives in such a manner a lot of things would be different, hey. Most importantly IF ALL WOMEN would see THEMSELVES this way, they’d be brave enough to demand the respect they deserve from the male counterparts they interact with. So lady, remember that you are Goddess and there is a lot more to you than meets the eye!

ADDICTED?!?

 

 So what are you addicted to? The obvious answer should definitely be: Nothing, right? Well I beg to differ.

The dictionary definition of an addiction is “the state of being enslaved to a habit or practice or to something that is psychologically or physically habit-forming”. Taking this definition into account, then a person can be addicted to absolutely anything (be it good or bad), it doesn’t have to be narcotics as we have grown to believe.

An addiction could be anything, take facebook for instance. You know it consumes a lot of your time (and airtime), but you’ll still do it as often as you feel like it, coz you just cannot contain the urge of checking out what’s going on. I’m not trashing facebook here (I love it to bits, lol), but it does become an issue when certain areas of your life suffer because of it, and you just feel discontent each time you do too much of it. I for one have certain addictions that I battle with, the biggest of all being Dancehall, funny enough. I just cannot go a day without listening to it (it’s not really a bad thing coz it’s one of my passions), but that means when I’m in the car it’s all I listen to and never switch on the radio the catch the news or current affairs. I’ve even missed out on some of the new trends in other genres (diversification is important in music). So now this one thing has consumed my mind so much that nothing else matters.

Maybe you might be addicted to gym, cigarettes, junk food, TV or friends even. For some it’s even emails, you can’t complete a single task at work without checking your mail at least thrice. The mere fact that you realize that you’re doing too much of something (it has become a constant habit in your life) means you’re addicted to it. Not all addictions are bad, but too much of anything is never good for you. One should always be at liberty to stop doing something when they want to and should never feel enslaved to keep on doing it.

Note the word “enslaved” on the definition, where you sometimes do not want to do something but since you have no choice (coz you’re so used to it) you end up doing it. There’s a scripture that says “for a man is a slave to whatever has mastered him” (2 Peter 2vs 9), so whatever it is that you continue doing even if you don’t want to anymore is actually your master. Think about it.

So if you know you’re doing something excessively (and you just cannot keep away), maybe it’s time you took control over it. Don’t write if off completely, but do it on your terms, not the other way around. Walking in freedom is the greatest pleasure there is, and doing away with bad habits should be the starting point. Another key to turning away from something is turning towards something else.  For instance I’m too much of a facebook fan (ok I read more than I post) so I’ve turned to blogging, which I feel could add a bit more value to my life than facebook did, I still do it, but not as much because now something else has captured my attention.

It’s time to refocus our energies to things that add value to our lives rather than thread along and be submissive to things/practices that have mastered us. Being more responsible with our time and giving room for other things to create that perfect balance in our lives (this is more the Libran in me talking). Hold on to the good habits and get rid of the bad ones as much as you could, because as strong and smart as you are, you should never allow into engakwazi ngisho ukukhuluma to dictate how you live. You’ll see how content you will be with yourself and how much control you’ll actually have on other areas in your life, it’s all about being alert to them.

I admit nicotine almost got the better of me at one stage (and remember, almost doesn’t count). Until I realized that the cons far outweigh the pros, plus I absolutely despised the fact that I was no longer in control, but “it”. It’s great to walk in freedom again. I have conquered.

Do you have any particular things/ or habits that you feel you are enslaved to? And does the possibility of being addicted to almost anything make sense to you? Do share.

Love Letter to Africa by Mkhatshwa MRmaster

 

I am Africa

But I was never told that my first date with World Bank would intoxicate me,

That the first taste of IMF candy would consume and enrapture me,

That there are places not in heaven, where there are no politicians with lies,

No gas and real books that she with the soft voice and crooked smile can read to me,

Without the background soundtrack of third world endless socio-economic needs,

In a face of economic depression or recession I will sleep now and run no more.

I am in an economic wheel chair Yes third world countries are subsidizing western powers I elevated my sense of logic to the words

Meant to drive the world to the pool of salvation In the midst of falsehood and biblical misrepresentation

I stand for economic justice And equal rights as if Peter Tosh was my poetry

Despite the elimination of segregation and slavery Third world countries are still subsidising western powers

Africa without financial crisis Is like World Bank without dollar notes

My writings were like an eternal light The voice opium of the poor

My divine thoughts were like the classical layers of pyramids

The essence of the black civilisation

They stood the test of time DNA of survival I preach black progress and mind liberation like the original Pharous

yes my poetic toughts invade Africa since they travel like arrows Does the G-8 stands for righteousness or wickedness

Year after year we witness foreign policies keeping the elements Of thuggery and mafia style just to maintain the status quo

Where does the western powers taking the human race to?

Corporations are Gods Oil is our blood Uncle Sam Empire was built by the generations of slaves

Who were exploited to the last degree from principles Of their rightful black civilisation

Conscious mindful sober revolutionary poetry is an institution to unify the masses

We do not use western ammunition but our tools are clinical poetic verses healing the ailing economic health of the continent like medical ARVs For years I have been the slave of my pen writing about socio-economic ills

But how come as an artist I fail to clarify and remedy those things for the prophecy To be fulfilled

Is the church the unifying agent of the populace?

Word from the street is religion is the opium Of the people a stepping stone to social liberation, but I beg to differ

We really need a true religious revolution with an afro-consciousness mindset

An epitome of African redemption Dark ages and shadows of ignorance nature sins

Cold war conspiracies from the heart of Vatican ever since

Let the redemption songs and spirits of my ancestors Defends the vulnerable and the oppressed

from the evil rule Of the people who use church and schools as propaganda tools Some churches benefited from colonial inequalities

The Vatican was built by the first generations of slaves

Will Morden day churches fulfil their mission?

Is the church’s gospel based Under the tutelage of democracy (the rule of people by people for people)

Or theocracy (the rule of people by people for the creator)

Or from The enslavement of certain segments of human race For the betterment of other segment of the population

Until we get our proper respect we cannot let up

Africa is a first world borderless country

First Things First

 

 

Well it was a tough decision to make on what will be my first post on this blog. I eventually decided on the easiest way out, (or in rather) which was to state what my intentions and expectations of this “blogging venture” are. We all wanna come in with a BANG don’t we? Creating that lasting first impression, but I thought keeping things simple (for now) would be far more comfortable for me (humble, aren’t I?)

 I named it “Inner heights” simply because it is just that:  My inner take on life, love, money, religion and everything else.  It’s inspired by an album from one of the legendary Reggae artists, very old but profound as well (Check Musical Heights). This is my space where I could speak my mind on issues that affect my life directly or otherwise.  This first post will be my house keeping edition if you may, you know, like when you’re about to start a conference/training session the facilitator will remind you to put your phones on silent and only go to the loo if you really, really have to “otherwise utilize the breaks highlighted in your schedule” (yeah right, dude!). Anyways back to housekeeping (frankly I don’t have a house to keep yet, since I’m the only one in the blog, kwaa), but seriously now, I’d like everyone who’ll be visiting this blog to feel free to voice out their opinion in whatever topics that are raised, I admit I’m not a know it all who speaks gospel about everything.

 As said, all that will be posted here will be Thando’s (mine) opinions and perceptions on things and I’d love to hear others’ different thoughts on them plus I always enjoy a challenging debate. I look forward to sharing my life’s experiences with anyone who cares to listen (maybe read is more appropriate in this instance).  I will research my facts as thoroughly as I could (so it’s not a blog of lies) and I’ll try to limit those grammatical/spelling errors as much as possible (you know, keeping things professional here). And oh, how I hate those (spelling errors) on e-mails, gees, especially when there’s a FREE spell checker on Outlook. On sms’s it’s okayish, but mxit lingo is still unforgivable (ok we’re getting a bit fussy now Thando). Where was I? Oh, yes keeping it professional ne. So I hope to give an interesting, informative and professional read in whatever I’ll be posting.

 I have a passion for dancehall (check “get to know me”)  so I’ll throw in a review or two on this genre. I’m also keen on getting reviews for up and coming underground Deep House Producers (watch this space). Ok I’m making too many promises on this artist review thing (mimicking ANC’s  next election campaign). Speaking of which, I’ll touch on politics and current affairs that really interest me (like Jimmy Manyis funky ideas), ok maybe that’s old news now, but I’m sure you catch my drift. I said I’ll “touch” on those things (keyword being “touch”), if you need more of that I’ll recommend the Mail and Guardian site, I particularly love their layout and opinion pieces, I promise to post a few on here (which won’t be in my own words obviously). I also anticipate on reviewing a few of the influential friends (if they don’t charge me for it) that have contributed positively in my life thus far. First being Fabby (who encouraged me to start my own blog) you can check hers out on www.fabby101@wordpress.com . Oh, since I’m a girly-girl, I will include a page of my favorite beauty products that I swear by for my hair, face, etc. Hope they’ll help.

 The bulk of my postings will be learning’s and views that have helped me grow in life and understand myself more. I hope even if only person reads the blog, their lives will be edified and they could learn something from it. Above all else, my posts will try and encompass God’s role in the bigger scheme of things, helping myself and others understand his intention and purpose in our lives. This blog will also serve as reminder of how great God has been in my life and how much of a blessing he wants me to be on this earth that he created for us to live in. Maybe I should have called this blog “Life101”, kidding, I’m far from teaching other’s how to live, there’s only one master who knows how, and we’ll know more about him as kuhamba is’khathi (yes I’ll throw in some vernacular now and then).

 Looking forward to this isn’t I? Well if I don’t keep to all the promises I made above, please don’t hate or judge me. You can always create your own blog and write about all these things, it’s FREE (I admit I prefer things free, especially in Gauteng). Lord permitting I will dedicate time each week to update and inform as much as I could. Oh, and I hope to find some cool graphics to put up, just to keep things interesting up in here (praying for such)!!!!

 Phew, first post done! Actually, I enjoyed it. Do you have any other issues or ideas that you want me touch on (remember “touch”)? Halla emva!